M55
Laugh Out Loud
July 02 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hilarious!
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RHP User
12 years ago
DeepBlue I laugh at you.There was a young man named mickWho unfortunately was born with a corkscrew dickAll his life he did hunt For a woman with a corkscrew c**tHe finally found one and got her to bed Only to discover she was left hand thread
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RHP User
12 years ago
He's not a pheasant plucker He's a pheasant plucker's sonHe's a great big mother-truckerRosie cheeks upon his bumThe staunch and steadfast SirlirkHis duty, he would never shirkHe brings housewives ducksIn a low-loader truckWhen supposed to be at work
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RHP User
12 years ago
Beautiful piece of writing there Mr KoolSpot on for me dear Blue, thank you! And thank you so much for your hug on your thread. xXx
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RHP User
12 years ago
The Women of RHP do excite me , On the back of their neck , they say "bite me". They encapsulate me so tightly , Which is why I come back here nightly ;) GG♒- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Thanks everyone who helped make the start of my day enjoyable. Just read 6 pages of the best posts ever. Will spend all day trying to think of a worthy limerick. Cheers,Mr Jelly
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RHP User
12 years ago
I heard there's a union have you?Right wing liberal party of twoLead by Cold Ass Honky Who's riding a donkeyWhile Kizza plays the kazoo!
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RHP User
12 years ago
So close....it was actually his brother:(
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'deepbluesumthing'I heard there's a union have you? Right wing liberal party of two Lead by Cold Ass Honky Who's riding a donkey While Kizza plays the kazoo! we are not right wing we are leftist apathists neither donkeys do we ride nor mud do we sling yet its derision who doth bring
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RHP User
12 years ago
bring miss d her bi-sexual fold bring blue's arrows of desire bring meeka's strap-on, oh kiz's mauled bring me my chariot of fire I will not cease from mental fight nor shall my sword sleep in my hand till we have re built the union on rhp's dark and murky land
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RHP User
12 years ago
There once was a girl from Madrid Who swore she had never been rid Along came an Italian with a cock like a stallion And rid her like Billy the Kid
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'cold_ass_honky' bring miss d her bi-sexual fold bring blue's arrows of desire bring meeka's strap-on, oh kiz's mauled bring me my chariot of fire I will not cease from mental fight nor shall my sword sleep in my hand till we have re built the union on rhp's dark and murky landThat sounds so 'Middle Earth'
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RHP User
12 years ago
At a site that's called Red Hot Pie Fun times are sought with you and I Both with and without clothes But as everyone knows It doesn't always end on a high - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Deep blue..love it. FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'jelly2352' At a site that's called Red Hot Pie Fun times are sought with you and I Both with and without clothes But as everyone knows It doesn't always end on a high - Posted from rhpmobile Best times end with a crywinding down to a sighas pleasure is sharedand souls are baredthen to the heavens fly
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RHP User
12 years ago
There once was a man from Seatlewho got his dick cut off in a battlehe said "Holy Shit'it looks like a clit"and now he whacks off with a paddle
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RHP User
12 years ago
This ole man,Cracked a fat,He went off and bummed his cat.With a nic nak, ,crack a fat,He gave his cat a bum,Ole man's cat got filled with cum
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RHP User
12 years ago
I had a sensational date, he came to my house rather late. Though he'd never deny That he is fully bi He certainly gave it to me straight.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Dear editors at Red Hot Pie My posts constantly go awry My colour is red, I'm given grey instead Is maroon maybe in short supply?
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RHP User
12 years ago
What fucks like a tiger and winks? ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Dev_Ious' What fucks like a tiger and winks? ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Stop winking at me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There was a young girl from ColeshillTried a dynamite stick for a thrillThey found her vagina in South CarolinaAnd bits of her tits in Brazil
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RHP User
12 years ago
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Jack said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light. The lady agreed and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared and they got on their way and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked: "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up North."Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and sleep with her?" "Yes," he said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did." "And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, sorry buddy, I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?" "No need to apologize, Bob. She just passed away and left me everything"
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RHP User
12 years ago
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.. 'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. 'She even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.' The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?' The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'
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RHP User
12 years ago
did u hear about the baby seal that walked into a heavy metal club
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RHP User
12 years ago
Went to the cupboard, To fetch poor rover a bone, When she bent over,rover drove her, For he had a bone of his own!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I rear-ended a car this mornin. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'So I looked down at him and said, 'Well then which one are you?'And that's how the fight started...
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RHP User
12 years ago
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman are sitting in a bar in Sydney reminiscing about home."Back in me pub in Glasgow", brags the Scotsman, "fer every four pints of stout I order they give me one fer free!" "Well, In me pub in London", says the Englishman, "I pay fer two pints of ale and they always give me a third one free!" "That's nothin'!", says the Irishman, "In me pub back in Dublin, yer walk up to the bar and they give you yer first pint o' Guinness for free, yer second pint o' Guinness fer free, yer third pint o' Guinness fer free, and then.... they take yer up stairs..... and you get to have sex .....all for FREE!""Is that true?" asks the Scotsman. "Has it really happened to yer?" asks the Englishman."Well....sadly no!" says the Irishman. "But it happens to me sister all the time!"
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RHP User
12 years ago
I was having trouble with my car so I stopped by the mechanic...he said give me ten minutes and i will see whats wrong. I ate an Ice cream while it was wait, it was a hot day and it melted quite a bit...The mechanic came in and said to me...Yu look like you have Blown a seal...I said no it was the ice cream i swear it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'll have a go Said a woman with open delight My pubic hairs perfectly white I admit there's a glare but the fellows don't care They locate it more quickly at night- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Take 2 There once was a woman named Jill Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill They found her vagina In South Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Once listing with quiet abandonA night so long with a maidenI pulled out a pewTook a breath or twoAnd pretended to like her dissertationYet don't get me wrong,I may be morral strong,Or just a prick,With a small chip,Thoroughly placed on my shoulder.Now i must pull up a sleeveAnd as such get out and leaveWhile still hotReady or notNo need to destroy my reputation.
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RHP User
12 years ago
A camel and a man from australiaSat at a bar under a whaleI like a good humpThen with a thumpThey were both covered in sperm whale.
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RHP User
12 years ago
There was a young man from ozWho needed to make out cozHe knew of no otherExcept for his motherThat Loved him the way that he was.He was born with a big dickand was a little too sickDefective in mindAnd in his bodyTo be weaned from his mothers big tits.Then along came anotherThat knew of his brotherIt made good senseTo save a few centsAs she was cheaper then his motherNow with strawberries and creamand lucky like in a dreamI know noneLike that onethats as sick and perverted as me.So I hope you all knowWith all that in towTo forgive and forgetwithout much regretThis silly blindman with a mowOK now I stop.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Do you ever go back and read the late night dribble and with a cringe wish you never scribbled the things that you did.I now do...
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's alright mate, I cringed too.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Teacher says to class.. “ For homework you need to use the word contagious in a sentence “ The next day Mary stands up and says.. “ My uncle went to Bali and caught a contagious disease. “ Very good Mary..... Jonny stands up.. “ My dad and I were driving home when we saw a truck full of oranges that had tipped over and there were oranges all over the road.. My dad looked at me and said...... It will take that cunt ages to pick them up “ .......
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RHP User
12 years ago
What's the Height of self-importance?.Having an orgasm and shouting your own name
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RHP User
12 years ago
The young man who wanted to be a porn star......... So he got himself down to Canberra....... When the director to flop it out so he could look...... The boy couldn't he was a sook.....Now he's a federal minister
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RHP User
11 years ago
I thought this Thread deserved a Revival . Laughter is important for our Survival . As a cure , it has no Rival . Consider this Thread to be your Bible ... GG
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RHP User
11 years ago
There was a young harlot from Kew , who filled her vagina with glue . She said with a grin , "If they pay to get in , they'll pay to get out of it too". GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MisterGreen' Consider this Thread to be your Bible ... GG Is it bad to say I find the bible laughable?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Amen to that Meander ;) GG♒️ - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
There once was a lass called Indagine(a). Who liked the grape from our Riverina. Whilst once a "greet". She got pissed off her feet. And since then no one has seen her. There once was a wench we call Mez. Who solved clues faster than all of the rez. A Pirate's Quest she took on. Won a bottle of Dom. As Capn No Beard will confez.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That should be "at a greet" Obi1
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madotara69
11 years ago
Angel, is an old word for messenger The pits of Gehenna... Hell, was a sulpher pit dead criminals were tossed into with rubbish Somewhere in translation, Rod was miss-spelt with a G. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Obi1Kenietzsche' There once was a wench we call Mez. Who solved clues faster than all of the rez. A Pirate's Quest she took on. Won a bottle of Dom. As Capn No Beard will confez. I miss that wench in maroon, she was a true poet.
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