G56
Single Men and Swingers parties
November 16 2014
Comments
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DynamicCouple36
11 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' "We have never met up with a male, through RHP or any other site and so can't really comment on whether males are less likely to arrive or not." And then, "It could also be, for example............""Another example could be............."""but when his thinking returns to normal (after he has had a good wank LOL) "Pure supposition ! hysterical, stereotypical drivel.Cockblocking on a grand scale ! DG would be proud. 50Zcool , You just dont get it do you ? We have experienced, first hand, the way that many "single" males behave at swingers clubs, and in this regard, and as a result of our experiences / witnessing the way that the majority of them have behaved, we are quite entitled to form an opinion. Many couples, that we know, and who were there with us, share the same experiences and opinions and in fact have written about it, on the forums of other sites. It all comes down to expectations. Clearly you, judging by the comments you have made, are the kind of person that will expect to root 2-3 women, after having paid $100 to gain entry to a swingers club. More than likely you will push and shove and stalk and grope, to get what you think you are entitled to. In our opinion, its guys like you, who give all "single " guys, at swingers clubs a bad name. Not all guys demand and expect to get laid, after paying their entry fee. Not all guys lurk in shadows, and behave in a disrespectful manner. Clearly you have no respect and its guys like you, whom we avoid at all costs. Whilst we have met with couples, via RHP, all of whom arrived at the meet n greet (ie did not stand us up) we have never met with a "single " male via RHP and so cant comment if they arrive or not. We have met with single males at swingers clubs though (when we used to attend open nights) and so can only really comment about their attitude and behaviour at the club. Each to their own. Fortunately we have the choice as to whom we wish to meet and engage with and whom we shall avoid and add to our block list. Having experienced first hand, on several occasions, disrespectful and unacceptable behaviour by "single" males at swingers clubs, we now will only go on couples nights. Many of our friends feel exactly the same way. Neither us, nor them, have ever had any unpleasant experiences on couples only nights. And the message comes through loud and clear.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That you have to resort to such a personal attack.Another spray of massive assumptions and made up fantasy scenarios all of which are 180 degrees wrong.I make no such demands or expectations, lurk in no shadows, push, shove stalk or grope. I simply resent being used as a cash cow by bigots like you. It's as simple as that.You live on the other side of the country and I can be 100% certain that we have no friends in common so your despicable accusations are 100% groundless. All the other crap has just spewed out of your poisonous mind. I'm proud to be on your block list, thanks, I have nothing more to say to you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Jason_Leslie'Clearly you, judging by the comments you have made, are the kind of person that will expect to root 2-3 women, after having paid $100 to gain entry to a swingers club. More than likely you will push and shove and stalk and grope, to get what you think you are entitled to. In our opinion, its guys like you, who give all "single " guys, at swingers clubs a bad name. . That is bitchy, rude and just incredibly nasty. Shame on you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
maybe its like our experience...many 'single' guys.....aren't. and when push comes to shove they either...arent free as promised, or bail at the last moment....which has happened to us, and others we know, over and over
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hello everyone, i guess, all of us are very similar and so different in the same time.For me, it's coming to tastes, colors, choices, préférences.We live on the same place but we don't live the same life.How boring and sad it will be if everything is knowed a head.I prefere good expe, but new expe go with adventure, risk, challenge, discovery of someone esle precious temple.To be honnest, i kind of appreciate my way whats thoses singles mAles do, cause when you're Lucky enought to caring a full bag of Good education, and few years in catering industrie, the contrast become even more obvious. It's just happen, thoses "social terrorists" are anywhere at anytime.In my first french club expe, it was hight standard, went there with a friend of mine as two single male, our minds were just set on having a chill day with pool and rhum in summer, some may say why we went in that club then, the atmospher wasn't needed, it was definitly a must. I'm still amaz by the level of respect and care (hygiene as well) in that club. (a simple NO THANKS do.)Maybe Lucky first expe, but unforgotable. Now if you came to read until here, you probably on choc about mistakes and orthographe sory fereiner don't take it personaly =]Bisous every budds
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RHP User
11 years ago
Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel as to why guys say they are coming but don't , why not just remember that ANYTHING with a sexual theme will attract interest and responses because of the fantasy land the internet creates. It appeals to peoples fantasies but come game day, the reality kicks in and they chicken out. This is ALWAYS going to happen. You just have to accept it as one of the downsides to the lifestyle and the internet. We do not live in a perfect world, so do not expect a perfect attendance ! I went to one as a single, and I left after an hour because most [yes including the couples as well] were acting like childish fuckwits. So $80 down the drain, no action and no interest in attending those events again. As for certain people suggesting that their personal choice to get a haircut as some sort of justification of single men paying more, that is one of the most ignorant comments I have ever heard come from that persons keyboard. The same person that preaches equality at every chance, yet then has the mentality of "oh yeah, you have to pay more because I want a nice haircut" ? As she said..............FFS !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Having attended the Friday Escape night I can say it's great fun and all the possible previous anxiety was quickly put rest once I walked through the door and found how friendly everyone was. But this is not about after walking through the door, but rather getting those who say they will attend (even after price and so forth that really is a principal debate as men have been paying for sexual opportunities since the get go - just as the "oldest profession" suggestion). I don't think this is any different to organising a party. I organise a poker night with friends once a month, and some months I have to jump through hoops just to make numbers. I found it actually a symptom of humans who don't like to plan too far ahead. I read a story about a recent start up that wanted to build a website so friends could more easily plan social events together. The startup after much investment of money had to call it quits as they found people just do not want to be locked into plans so far out... and yes that was just organising something for the weekend. People like flexibility in regards to social events and I guess that's not going to change - it's part of human nature. My suggestion is take a deposit (or even full fee) before confirming their invite. There are now sites like Eventbrite that will manage all the payments so for a very small fee you can start taking deposits or payments. And if they don't show, well you made some money and as a business that's a good thing. And for us want to be regulars who like the friendly open crowds, having you making money keeps the event going and we're all happy :) And unfortunately there is an attitude that things are worth the cost to them, Sao if an invites free then it's not really worth something. But charge a price, and you might find you can quickly weed out those serious about attending as the invite becomes something of value :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its not just swinger events where people think its OK to accept an invitation and then think it's no big deal not to turn up. And with something with such a low "shame" threshold as an anonymous(ish) internet profile the chances are even higher (unlike the invitation to your great aunties birthday party where your mother will make your life hell for the next 365 days...). Anyway I'm going to my first party night tomorrow as one of the M's in the MMF of long term friends. I'm excited as it's possible to be and I 100% aim to turn up! I'm not sure it counts as "single" but it seems to be a great way to increase the ratio of guys at the party? I'm a pretty confident guy but I know I wouldn't have the balls to turn up at a party night alone.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I suppose time will tell, however my experience was after being invited to a Friday night I then received a message requesting payment upfront of $100. As I had some other commitments that may of meant I could not attend I waited a few days and once I knew I could not attend I let you know straight away, giving you at least 3 days notice. Your response to me was to go on the attack in a message to me as an example of all the single guys you are having a bad experience with. I politely responded and even gave you my phone number and volunteered some of my time to assist you in working out your approach. I explained to you that I did business and business communications as a profession and would offer my time to support your club as I want to see it do well. Your response to this. ............... NOTHING. In amoung the comments prior to my own is some very good advice that will assist you if you can move beyond the reactionary response and take the time to understand and improve your processes. I still wish you all the best, from what I hear the club is great and the offer still stands.
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6exxy
11 years ago
Ok so you expressed interest and was invited. Then you were asked to pay in advance of the event? I am unaware if this is normal so I am only asking to be sure.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Does anyone know if there is any parties in Gosford
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RHP User
11 years ago
DomOvrU my experience of Friday Escape was totally different to yours. And if you're a business communications major I'd question your skills. It's usually the marketing people that put others down telling them they need so and so product or service to meet other's expectations. I'm glad you are confident in your skills that you know better than a club of people who have been running for 3 plus years. Your post, I admit, is kind of an oxymoron to me.... you are a business communications expert yet you emotionally respond with nonprofessional critism in a public arena. Maybe if you post some of your ideas to give a taste of your skills rather than critisms you might get a better response.
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UnclaimedPants
11 years ago
Well this thread has got totally off track.. Op a lot of guys like talking the talk but when it comes to walking the walk there not always up to it. And for those of you complaining about the price its simple economics supply and demand, you only have to look at the numbers on this site and others to know that men are hugely over represented. Finally private parties are far and away the best way to go, always meet fantastic people at these. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
From what I could see of domoveryou's response he was offering help and was just responding... This is meant to be a public forum not a marketing tool- people are given a place to voice their opinion on either side of the argument.... And I don't think he was trying to market his services... From what I've seen of him he doesn't need to. XxViolet
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hey mate Thanks for your comments and I can see what you are trying to say. It is a public forum and if the actual organisation hadn't posted the question then my comments would of remained my own. But they did and if they are genuine about improving what they do then they will listen with intent to improve their services. My information was factual and not attacking, I genuinely want them to do well. There have been many failures in regards to swinging clubs and hopefully they will keep growing. You appear to be very defensive of them and it is great you have had very positive experiences, however others haven't and that raises the question for them and their customers about what can they do better. Isn't that the question all businesses should be asking?
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RHP User
11 years ago
PurplePonies and DomOvrU.... I'm happy if you guys have ideas. I'm not hearing ideas but rather DomOvrU offering his services. There is a recent article actually blaming MBA theory for much of the lack of innovation in the US. Comes from the simple formula: profit = net revenue - costs. Issue with this is that is easy to cut costs but not generate revenue. So all these MBA graduates walk into business and streamline (fire people) reducing costs. Then there's great profits and all the share holders are happy that year. But what the MBA graduate has really done is liquidate the quality of the business. Now this happens over a few years and the business ends up with such poor quality it goes out of business. Now I hear you have great skills. I'm asking that you put these out there. If you're good, you'll have a portfolio of ideas, so sharing one or two to gain interest should not be too hard.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The best idea is out there but nobody is on it. LISTEN !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well there are just a few assumptions and obviously a little of your own personal bias showing through. But most of all a complete disrespect of the post and staying on topic. To start with no MBA here but 25 years of successfully assisting failing organisations get back on their feet and becoming successful. Also no agro here but yours is showing through which is disappointing because some of what you are saying makes a great deal of sense. Also if I was seeking payment for services I would of approached it very differently. As I said above and in my messages I was happy to support at no cost. Also had no expectation around attendance or anything, I just believe this scene needs quality sustainable clubs so we can all enjoy the benefits. You obviously are struggling with the fact that someone is prepared to support people with no expectation of personal gain and that is just sad. In respect to the Op I suggest if you want to keep doubting my intentions please send me a PM.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I would not offer any ideas because I don't think this forum was not posted to gather ideas from forumites but more so just to winge about single dudes. I have no ideas about swingers clubs that the op would listen to anyway. Xxviolet (PurplePonies) Ps I'm also kind of confused about why you are going on about MBA graduates...😱
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RHP User
11 years ago
Editing whilst cooking didn't work so well 😊💋violet (also PurplePonies)
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with Violet. Your remarks seem to be extremely tangential to both the OP and DomOvrU's response. Dom has outlined his experience and the legitimate suggestions as to how to improve the lines of communication. He also outlined the reasons why he did not attend so that the OP could have a better insight into the issue raised in the initial post. I do not understand the grounds upon which you then attack him and others. I suggest a more considered response after careful consideration of the material next time. As to the OP, my response has already been covered by others in that it is presumptious to say this is a question of fault as there may be many valid reasons why there has been a change of plan and given that the invitation is an invitation to treat to the world, there is no need for a person declining the offer to give notice. It is also not grounds for vilify those persons or indeed a class of persons.
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RHP User
11 years ago
private parties are great.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Straight from the Equal Opportunity Commission website. SEX DISCRIMINATION It is unlawful under the Equal Opportunity Act 1984 to discriminate against a person because of their sex. Direct sex discrimination occurs when a person is treated unfairly because of their sex, compared to another person of a different sex in the same or similar circumstances. Indirect sex discrimination is when a requirement, condition or practice that is the same for everyone has an unfair effect on someone because of their sex, and is unreasonable in the circumstances. Examples of sex discrimination A man complained he was discriminated against at a nightclub because men were charged an entry fee while women were allowed in free of charge. A woman applied for a position at a factory but was told that all staff in the factory were males and all facilities were for males only. She was told it would be useless for her to apply for the job because she was a female......
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infusions
11 years ago
OF 78 I have to agree with your last post re MBA but maybe we need a new thread just to discuss that issue. I have to admit I was wrong in assuming single guys here want to be a part of parties, Commercial or otherwise. Alternative advertising and promotion Ive done since OP has resulted in genuine interest with most guys turning up and enjoying a fun night. Feedback from last Fridays Party was that it was the best party they have been to...ever So Ii will accept that guys on this site are in general not interested in the type of event we facilitate. And on a side issue.. OF 78 totally rocks on the dance floor !!! ;)
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RHP User
11 years ago
The OP raised this issue within a forum which has specific target market. Very smart of the OP to raise the question here. Any business developing a new line or whop wants to improve a business would do the very same thing. I dont know what Dom has offered, but there was obviously an offer of help which seems to have been dismissed out of hand.......That's poor business practice
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes why don't you listen. Why all this angst about getting into an expensive swingers club when most of the people there, that is couples, are not interested in single men? There are other more affordable parties for that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Personally I couldn't care less, I just like to show men how they get exploited when they think with their cock. And I resent the people that do it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The messages I could identify were 1. That your communication and promotion could improve. For example, being up front about costs and prepayment. 2. That many guys do feel that the higher cost for them and the upfront payment is unfair, it is also potentially illegal given the Equality Opportunity Commission info and if so this is an issue for your business model and that is a significant risk. This will impact you no matter where you advertise. Having been connected to a number of other clubs, single guys are regarded as the cash cows and even on RHP I would bet the percentage of paying guys outstrips the paying women. However while it seems to work well for online dating the history in WA is that depending on single guys as cash flow seems to be the beginning of the end. If you review the successful European clubs they have a more diverse business model. One of my favourites is LaChandeles in Paris. I understand the population is much more diverse and much greater numbers but there are still some lessons to learn from clubs like these and Chandeles have very limited numbers for each event but do very well. Keeping it all business is also important and the example of how you got stuck into me after politely giving you 3 days notice doesn't build a good reputation, saying nothing would have been better or a simple thank you. My suggestion there is that if you find you cannot help but to respond in such a way, find someone who knows how to charm and doesn't react so easily. This discussion on here from your post really didn't go in the direction that helps build a good reputation. The old saying about keeping your customers happy is well worth remembering. Unhappy customers will talk to more people about bad experiences than satisfied customers will with good experiences. Everyone knows this but few know how to manage conflict in a way that benefits the business. Those that do are usually very successfull. The reality is that no matter where you advertise or run the business, if you fail to encourage and utilise feedback and criticism as a way to improve your business it will only be a matter of time when you will either get fed up or the business will fail. Even very large organisations such as Nokia and Adidas learnt that the hard way. Nokia are just starting to claw back some of their losses after their arrogance lost their market leader status. As I have said a number of times before, I really do want to see you succeed and from everything I have been told up until recently is that you have been running a great club. I expect you will never take up my offer and that is fine but please remain open to change both professionally and personally. I have typed this on my tablet so expect heaps of spelling mistakes, apologies to all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks. The reasoning being your statements give good ideas why keeping professional communication is important. It is much more sound information than stating someone did something wrong and its their fault for how you felt. Explaining why and how that can have follow on effects certainly helps the issue. But I guess, from what I'm hearing from the OP is that this site might actually be full of guys with much bigger barks than bites - in other words, curious but too fearful to actually go :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
That's a very big generalisation to make. The guys on this site are probably very similar to the girls on this site and in the general population... in that there are many and varied reasons why they may not attend... Xxviolet
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks for your comments and I appreciate your regard for my own. In regards to the guys that are not attending, I think you have a point but we need to be careful that in these discussions we don't actually make it worse and put them off further by belittling them. I remember the first time I attended a club I was so nervous that any woman that had any thoughts of seeing me stand to attention was going to be severely disappointed. Some guys just find it easy and others need time to build their confidence. Just as Violet said both men and women are in this situation. My support of the club would of got them thinking about the cause rather than the result. The Op is starting from the wrong end and even advertising on the classified website will eventually hit a threshold and demonstrate the same issues within time. It is just time and it will level out to the same. The point I was making in my first post on this issue is the old vinegar vs honey, the ops response to me was a blaming response rather than inquisitive. If the Op had of sought first to understand then he would have discovered new options and pathways to take. I expect this approach was not isolated to my experience and therefore the problem becomes wider to a broader audience. Even the original post indicated annoyance rather than curiosity. Much better to be curious than furious.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have no doubt you are correct however the OP has a solution that limits numbers and lines their pockets. Ethics are soluble in cash.Anything "deeper" is simply a case of pearls before swine.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Unfortunately you may be right. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'madotara69' That was a bit of a fuck up 6sexxy, that's for even telling a lady to fuck off for starters. i dont know meeka but im not so sure she would appreciate being called a 'lady' madotata...
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RHP User
11 years ago
What is that supposed to mean?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Large amount of slanging going on, so I'll put my 2 cents in, not aimed at anyone........... OP, good question, I feel it's true that a lot of single guys say they want to get in, only to back away when the opportunity arises............. Personally, I think firstly it's pure nerves! We all judge, by looks, social acceptance, approaches, dress etc etc etc. So when a single guy walks in, sorry but we are already thinking, mmmmm wonder what he's like, what can he give me, will he perform............ That is some serious pressure, why would you want to put yourself through it............. Secondly, yes guys are thought of as the cash cow, it's supply and demand. So many single guys want it, well then they pay for it....... Which of course then puts it back to my first point lol............ I love the idea of couples + 1, then there is a more comfortable environment, with the knowledge that if they were brought along, they know the scene and play accordingly.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Bigmamma, couples +1... doesn't that create a closed loop ? Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Best thing about the couples + 1 is that the extra guy can then come to that club on his lonesome if he behaved well. Which then opens up a good quality group......
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RHP User
11 years ago
All parties single men pay a premium to attend most function restrict the numbers of men to weed out the undesirables but guys basicly subsidies this whole scene wether it be parties or these sites while single ladies and couples pay much less or nothing at all so many couples and ladies are guest on rhp while the huge number of guys that are paid members just to have a better chance of meeting people - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Could you explain to me how the premium weeds out the "undesirables" please ? I don't follow ?
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infusions
11 years ago
It could be viewed in exactly the same way as most Businesses manipulate their target clientele through their pricing structure An Example is the restaurant industry. Fast food v's sophistication class and elegance
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think you'll find, It's more about "perceived value"
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RHP User
11 years ago
The men you want to attract will have sophistication, class and elegance where the women are viewed as fast food?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Fridays_Escape' It could be viewed in exactly the same way as most Businesses manipulate their target clientele through their pricing structure An Example is the restaurant industry. Fast food v's sophistication class and elegance If you stick with this model, I would be anticipating contact with the Equal Opportunity Commission.
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Paradisepair
11 years ago
I've not weighed through the whole conversation but the cries of 'equal opportunity' have leapt off the page at me (and make my eyes roll a little). Overseas it's common for normal vanilla nightclubs to offer free entry to women but charge men. So on some level this kind of 'discrimination' is already mainstream. It's not outright exclusion but you could call it discrimination.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Paradisepair' I've not weighed through the whole conversation but the cries of 'equal opportunity' have leapt off the page at me (and make my eyes roll a little). Overseas it's common for normal vanilla nightclubs to offer free entry to women but charge men. So on some level this kind of 'discrimination' is already mainstream. It's not outright exclusion but you could call it discrimination. If you take the time to scroll back through my previous posts, there is a direct quote from the commissions website that addresses a matter almost identical to this. I guess the easiest way to sort it out would be to place a claim in with the commission and see which way it all goes.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is that where this thread has ended up? I'm no legal eagle, nor have I read this thread completely. The above postl posses a particular question of law. To me this is a question also of equity. A principle that runs very deep in our society. Equity is as Im aware equal financial outcomes. So where does that seesaw equal balance point reside in this case? From that perspective Id back the clubs position on this one. IMO - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Are those regular prices and why do they seem to mostly happen in Perth, Brisbane or Melbourne? No luv in sa ;) chuckle - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
For a short while you got no choice Deltas has closed torelocate.Also these guys should ask themselves why they are singleand rethink.
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RHP User
11 years ago
There are swingers clubs in all major cities. I assume Adelaide too. Otherwise there are loads of private parties and professional organisers of sex or fetish parties where the prices are much more affordable.
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