F74
And then I went and spoilt it all by saying something stupid like
April 27 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
Or the tuna sandwich I had for lunch?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
LMFAO here... Someone hand me a tissue to hold back the tears, I can't stop laughing lolllllllll
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RHP User
13 years ago
No I did not pee the bed. Foxy
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RHP User
13 years ago
Nooooo you can not wear your snorkle and goggles in the bath!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Nooooooo you can not ring your mum to get permission to wear your snorkle and goggles in the bath!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'CreamyKit10' Quoting 'foreign_lover' does it squeak when i squeeze it? AhahahahahaDid someone actually say that? not with me! I head this phrase from a friend a long time ago
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RHP User
13 years ago
Wow, you have a hairier chest than me!.....Not my finest hour.. :-(
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RHP User
13 years ago
plait the hair she had in the middle of her back Have learnt to keep my mouth shut now
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RHP User
13 years ago
You want to do WHAT to my WHAATT??
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think... *RUMBLE* maybe.... *GRUMBLE* those oysters were off.....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Was taken Home by a girlie, she refused to take me up to her room, (which was weird straight away) so we were getting funky on the couch, I went down on her and after a while on getting little to no reaction, I looked up at her and she was patting her dog... :( massive ego boost :( .... Waaaaaa- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
is hanging out of your nose? just a little more to the right,yeah thats it, now I can see the tv over your shoulder I like the light on when I have sex with you, that way I can read my book
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australiaboy
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Is it in yet? And the response to this should be a courdial, "Baby, I'm done!"
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australiaboy
13 years ago
Was the earth moving for you baby? or do I need to go on a diet?
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RHP User
13 years ago
You can have one coffee than leave. Foxy
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RHP User
13 years ago
I like to be teased about my small cock So if someone says ive seen smaller that kills it for me :)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Wow, you fuck just like your sister...
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RHP User
13 years ago
Isn't inch just the old word for centimeter?
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RHP User
13 years ago
her hand onto his throbbing member (love that term)And she says "no thanks I don't smoke"
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RHP User
13 years ago
She said: *bouncing cowgirl style* "mmmm baby are you filming us on your phone? He said: *looking at his phone* "No...facebook"- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting '50zkool' her hand onto his throbbing member (love that term)And she says "no thanks I don't smoke" Monica Lewinsky- by any chance? FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm out of condoms, can I use a cling wrap? I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker!
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wildfish2
13 years ago
That's so bad, but very good,,,, T
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RHP User
13 years ago
"You give too good head" he says when cumming in under 5 minutes
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RHP User
13 years ago
But for me its usually your ass is so tight :)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm not sure you're aware of this but, while I appreciate your driving need for cleanliness, it's considered bad form to immediately head for the shower after fucking someone before your heart rate has even had a chance to return to normal. LOL. young'uns..
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RHP User
13 years ago
I Love You
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RHP User
13 years ago
You look just like Molly Meldrum?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Did you know there's a crack on your ceiling??- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
leave your money on the dresser on the way out sorry I answered your phone while you were on the shower,and your wife said you need to pick up a suitcase on the way home so you can pack your shit and fuck off would you mind reading the fine print on my std check,I broke my glasses and cant read it but the doc has ask me to come back and its urgent
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RHP User
13 years ago
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like....."I did have crabs..buts the doc says I'm good-to-go now!"(??????? a true story and quoted from a guy on a first date with a female.)
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RHP User
13 years ago
The modern turn of that bloody mobile phone Kills it for me I like my privacy and to have my full attention on my partner At 50 I appreciate if a younger girl wants to get dirty and just 2 weeks ago it was on she was a fox that I had met from a birthday I was DJ at.. I had my face buried, fingers pumping into her yet again ,after she had cummm and her mobile wrang plus she answered it boy did that put me off. I did not worry I had not cumm or how hard and uncomfortable I was I just left...blaaaahhhh
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RHP User
13 years ago
You folk are just making shit up now..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Him on his back, me riding and grinding and loving every second.....out of my mouth"Oh fuck this feels good, Jesus, oh fuck I love.........YOU"WTF, we look at each other terrified.....I try to recover with "No, No, No, not YOU, I HATE you - but God I love....... your cock"Love to hate in 3.2 seconds....a confusing moment all round
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'LittleRedEngine'You folk are just making shit up now.. This was said to me at a recent orgy: "You look like a healthier version of Karen Carpenter." Didn't get me hot, just bothered.
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RHP User
13 years ago
@poppins Nothing like some passionate hate sex. ~smiles~@Devious Ouch!! Though I'm glad you shag (or at least talk to) blokes old enough to have heard of Karen Carpenter.
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RHP User
13 years ago
And then I go and spoilt it all by saying (or doing in this case) something stupid like... 1. whispering in her ear "Myyy preeeeciousss" in Gollum voice. 2. making Wookie sounds while cumming deep inside her. LMAO not my finest moments...- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'dickfullalove' And then I go and spoilt it all by saying (or doing in this case) something stupid like... 1. whispering in her ear "Myyy preeeeciousss" in Gollum voice. 2. making Wookie sounds while cumming deep inside her. LMAO not my finest moments...- Posted from rhpmobile someone making Wookie noises in my ear while they cum (each to their own huh?)
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RHP User
13 years ago
The Wookie sounds while cumming were more arched back and buried as deep as possible while letting them out to fill the room. I guess that hit her off button instantly lol- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
but good recovery....almost! Don't you just hate when your mind is in pussy meltdown! Quoting 'MissPoppins' Him on his back, me riding and grinding and loving every second.....out of my mouth"Oh fuck this feels good, Jesus, oh fuck I love.........YOU"WTF, we look at each other terrified.....I try to recover with "No, No, No, not YOU, I HATE you - but God I love....... your cock"Love to hate in 3.2 seconds....a confusing moment all round
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RHP User
13 years ago
Her: "OH GOD YES FUCK ME...YES OH GOD YES" Me: "Just call me by my mortal name..." Aaaannnnddd shutdown lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'dickfullalove' The Wookie sounds while cumming were more arched back and buried as deep as possible while letting them out to fill the room. I guess that hit her off button instantly lol- Posted from rhpmobile I get a pussy twinge just imagining that ... but that's just me I guess
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Cheeky_01
13 years ago
Yeah actually, I have had better
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RHP User
13 years ago
@dickfullalove and she said "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God" ... and I stopped and said "who the fuck is this God guy, my name is Rod!" Well I thought it was witty at the time- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
I'm BUSY...FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
* can you give me a sec ... im busting* "that was awesome" "can you finish yourself off??????????????"
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RHP User
13 years ago
That was actually good. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
That was actually good. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
.... do you like kids? I think you'd make a great mother! No round 2 here!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes I've had bigger
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RHP User
13 years ago
mmmm it tastes like chicken- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Come now baby, let me fuck you in your ass... I'll be gentle- Posted from rhpmobile
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Quiserasera
13 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' My date and I were at a nude bi-orgy and we were watching two women being gang banged. They were groaning and moaning and everyone was completely in the moment until my date yells out. "Mum is that you?" LOL. Damn that's classic............;)
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago
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hotcouplewanted
13 years ago
Hurry up please, I have to go soon....
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RHP User
13 years ago
...I'm not pregnant
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RHP User
13 years ago
when can I come to your place and fuck you into a coma
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RHP User
13 years ago
Giving that look during or after it.........yoo know the hmm, was that it look?Or the look of...what am I supposed to do with that...it's not hard look...like it's my problem
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RHP User
13 years ago
why? did you loose an earing nahhh my hormone patch came off shall I take my false teeth out for the bj? gee you took a longer time than normal, the second hand on my watch almost made it all the way around no I dont want to gangbag your footy club mates after the match sorry I thought you said fold this not hold this...shall I call and ambulance?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Person wants to changes relationship status on Facebook"Is in a relationship"FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
You WILL write me validation when we're done, right?
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RHP User
13 years ago
When you write your validation, make sure you mention how big my cock is. Oh, and that I'm the best you've had. And that I went all night. Don't forget to say how I made your eyes roll back in your head. And write the whole thing in capitals!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFox' Person wants to changes relationship status on Facebook"Is in a relationship"FOXY Any Foxy changes her FB status to "Running away as fast as possible" .......
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sorry I think I fell asleep....
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RHP User
13 years ago
me: asleep 3 in the morning , girlfriend: starts hand job me :pretending to be asleep, girlfriend: proceeds to mount me and begins fucking me , me: still pretending to sleep work in 2 hrs not happening so i pretend to snore , girlfriend: no reaction continues me:still "sleeping" says granma thinks that would have to do it , girlfriend: pauses then continues me: WTF !! accepted situationTell me when your abought to come ........... WTF !! you fuck i told you not in my mouth . ..........whoops !!! heheheanother true story : me talking on a dating site 18+ talking to 19 year old girl "you coming over for some fun" girl: be their in ten , ten minutes later girl arrives we do our thing, two hours go by then knok knok this is the police i answer the dore they then proceed to tell me they've had a run away reported and the sister gave this address i then look at the girl in disbelief wondering wtf is going on , she then comes over and tells the police she is 18 and can do what she wonts they ask for id she has none ofcourse they knew this so they then tell me she is 16 and has run away from home ,they take her away then one cop comes back and i explain he then says she has done this before next time make sure you check id's if your meeting chiks on the net .Fuck my mined was spinning for a while their had half a joint in the ashh tray to make things worse but they never noticed,,but lesson lernt big time.
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RHP User
13 years ago
ah the old is it in yet... so awkward when it's the guy that asks that...other turn offs include... talking about your kidsyour ex wife...how expensive i am... haha yes i know i'm high maintance...
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RHP User
13 years ago
always ask for Id, or you will be passing the soap in D block at the prison now back tothe post and then I said what do you mean I was your baby sitter back in 69? you said you were going to warn me,so I could put my swim goggles on!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Can you just keep it simple and in my arse...please- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Right House, Wrong Bedroom
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RHP User
13 years ago
"You can finish yourself off ...you can make yourself cum faster than I can" - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Your bum does look big in that.
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RHP User
13 years ago
STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! I have to go and add milk to tomorrows shopping list.Foxy
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RHP User
13 years ago
It's my bed and I'm aloud to fart - but YOU can't!!Foxy
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RHP User
13 years ago
WTF?? Why is your mum sitting on the edge of the bed??FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
I need your opinion on something...is this CRABS??FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sorry I have no toys...will a hairbrush do??FOXY
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RHP User
13 years ago
I want to fuck you in the ass...
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RHP User
13 years ago
give me oral or get out was that the door slamming? and then I said, glad you like my girlfriend, can you add one more? was that the door slamming?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Was that you? Woooo baby what did you eat?
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RHP User
13 years ago
...(starts crying) ..."whats wrong?"..."why dont you like my mum"...FFS now? Really???
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RHP User
13 years ago
*ring ring*Hello, oh hi mom, what am I doing oh nothing*looks at guy fucking me*
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RHP User
13 years ago
'Cool' I reply. She comes back ' I'll be sixteen'. 😱
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RHP User
13 years ago
this cucumber smells like fish? then I said, if you had a bigger dick you could go as a petrol pump to the fancy dress, if you could throw it over your shoulder when I said, I love a man in unform..I did not mean your Mr whippy icecream get up when I said I like a man that eats at the Y..Idid not mean ymca lunch room when I said you can come in the back door..I meant the back door of the house, so now willlyou please go get me a cushion with a hole in it. when I said meet with no expectations...I expected you to be clothed, now I have some explaining to do to the neighbours
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RHP User
13 years ago
I got poo under my fingernail!
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RHP User
13 years ago
you feel just like my wife on the inside......
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RHP User
13 years ago
rinse out the condom, I am on a bit of a budget at the moment there ya go I have moved the furniture out of the way so you can make a smooth getaway after you have blown I said luv, I said pet, I said Darl............ beard rash on my labia is not a fun thing to have when I go for my morning swim in da ocean... can you stop thrusting for just a second? shit yep that is my husbands foot steps comming up the hall,fuck wonder if has left his glock at work? umm honey the window was shut, and yes Ican throw down your clothes and call an ambulance
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RHP User
13 years ago
This won't hurt.......did it? awww - c'mon - I wish you would do anal cos my wife won't awww - c'mon - please swallow cos my wife won't ooops - I didn't mean to cum yet
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RHP User
13 years ago
here and here...just my last lover tried to sue me for breach of promise...Like I was just kidding when I told him I take it up the arse.Well I did tell you I was a woman with balls....no I meant it in a literal way silly
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RHP User
13 years ago
my remote control
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RHP User
13 years ago
all iwanted to say can u please pass the salt but it came out all wrong " u ruined the 6 years of my life ,i, iam moving out tonight :)
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