M51
Couples and single ladies only wanting unattached
November 16 2018
Comments
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Andremmo
7 years ago
Economics 101. I think it is a simple case of supply and demand. The ratio of men to women on this (and probably every dating) site is massively skewed and single women can afford to be very very picky because they have such a range of talent to choose from. A large number of men are competing to attract the eye of a very small group of receptive women and even one black mark is enough to quickly take them off the list of possibles. Attached men have a couple of things not in their favour which is enough to see them crossed off the list early. There is a risk of blowback involved in playing with someone attached if their partner either finds out or decides that the extra relationship has to end. Attached players are generally less available and have other demands on their free time and less likely to be up for a booty call at any hour. Attached players are also less committed to making a side relationship work long term. Attached players are also less likely to show face pictures which is a massive determinant in picking hot profiles. That said, there are benefits of hooking up with attached people. For one they are less likely to be clingy or needy. I know this might be controversial but I also think that people actually in an on-going relationship have valid proof that they are nice and relatively stable since someone likes them enough to stay with them. All these attached or not factors apply equally to both sexes - it just comes back to supply and demand really. Can you afford to be picky or not?
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RHP User
7 years ago
If we were after a single male we would probably prefer an attached one (please note we are not looking for one) if you’re having a plus one and they’re in an open relationship where the other persons significant other doesn’t mind that means there is automatically a level of trust there. (In theory). We’re looking for an attached female to come and play and send her home to her husband or boyfriend
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
How would we know for certain That you are in an open marriage / relationship and not cheating ? Would we get to interview your wife / partner so as to confirm the above ?
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RHP User
7 years ago
I'm happy with an attached male, as long as the partner knows.. Not looking for a permanent lover, just an on-going NSA friendship without any hassles or dramas.
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RHP User
7 years ago
When I first started out online, I did meet some married-attached men. They were supposedly in "open relationships". I ended up being stalked and verbally abused by one woman, left sitting alone in restaurants because the wife rang wondering where their man was....mid way through sex, phones ringing with request from the woman for her man to stop off and get some milk when we have finished fucking....being expected to drop what ever I am doing (work) so they can drop over for a half hour quickie....ghosted til they want to come over..etc. Not able to go away over night or weekend, not wanting to be seen in public with a woman not their partner.. Basically no respect for a friends with benefits situation. So for many years now ... I do my best to stick with single men. (even then a couple of lying-cheating dirt bags have snuck through ). And ofcourse have spent time with absolutely fabulous single men too. Not saying this has never happened with a single guy, just that it happened a lot with attached-married men.
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curiousgirl35
7 years ago
Your profile looks good 😊. I personally think id take it on a case by case basis. If you have attraction and everything is above board etc why should it matter? Have fun x
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RHP User
7 years ago
I appreciate the feedback so far and to address a couple of comments, yes I am more than happy for a potential couple or lady to chat to my wife as she is happy for a potential guy to chat to me and we have both done this. So far I’ve only met a few women who don’t have an issue with our setup and they are great. Availability for me isn’t an issue as she’s happy for me to go out anytime as am I with her. I understand the ratio discrepancy on these sights and have seen the bombardment that my wife has had to deal with. I’m not having a winge I was just more interested in people’s points of view and the responses here have been great.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Which means friendship as well as sex. Meeting for lunchtime drinks, movies, sleepovers, nude beach days etc. Attached guys are generally only looking for regular hookups. And before anyone questions my comment....Ive had all of the above with former fwbs. I doubt a married guy would be so keen to spend platonic time together. Although I am not generalising of course.
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RHP User
7 years ago
And on the face pic comment, I always grant access to my Private Album to anyone I message on the first message and only face pics in that album 😉
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Open relationship are sometimes used by dominant partners. They suggest/agree to an open relationship so they can enjoy non monogamous experience for themselves but quietly manipulate proceedings of their partners relationship making it difficult for the partner to have a full experience.Consequently, other parties are inconvenienced by the situation and move on to single playmates.If l play with attached l find it easier to be the secret party. Not perfect but less manipulation by the wife/girlfriend.
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curiousmrs
7 years ago
Once upon a time, no way would we consider an attached male. But, over time have realised there are benefits as long as the partner knows. We don’t want the complication of a woman finding out her boyfriend/husband cheating.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Kokoflamingoi understand that may be the case with some men in open marriages, I go to dinner with a regular playmate, I have no issues with being seen in public with a lady other than my wife,
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RHP User
7 years ago
Its a nice day on Sunday. I suggest going to the beach and Mr cant go because he has something organised with the wife. Or a date is broken ( after arranging to make precious time available) because something is going on at home. I suppose I mean that you can never depend on them 100 per cent. You will never feel important to them, you are the back up so to speak. May sound selfish but I have my self respect. I want to spend my time with someone who likes me, and doesnt just see me as a bit of fluff on the side. You have a regular playmate....how many woman do you want? :)
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RHP User
7 years ago
Everything that koko said. What do you have to offer me that a single man can’t? Are you perhaps feeling a little annoyed at the attention your wife is getting, compared to you?
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RHP User
7 years ago
A man posts on here about being in an open relationship and cops it. Lying, cheating, dishonest little so-and-so. A woman posts on here about being in an open relationship and it's all cool, who are we to judge?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks Okeydoke45, yes I do do find it interesting that on a site like this that there is judgement from some without them knowing the other person. My wife and I actually find our open marriage to be extremely liberating, If some can’t deal with that then that’s their issue and I won’t loose sleep over it.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Ok some more responses to comments... DynamicCouple36 - My profile is straight up and I hide nothing, I have my wife’s RHP profile name on my profile and we are both verified!! ruby_blossum - Sorry that you have obviously had some bad experiences, when I have a play date organised I always show and my wife never interrupts & neither do I when she has a play date. I can do overnighters, we’re are not yet ready to do weekends away but we are both upfront about that as we don’t want to stuff people around. With being seen in public, this is not an issue for either of us and PDA are definitely a thing we both enjoy with a FWB. Mutual respect is an absolute must for both my wife and I with a FWB too.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi jince actually no, she gets more attention from messages but most appear to be either pic hunters or they get off on chatting. I happen to play more than her, my post was just about trying to understand why some couples and single ladies are so firm on the whole unattached make thing, just seems self limiting that’s all.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi jince, Now the question of what I have to offer that a single guy doesn’t is dangerous territory as it is over simplifying things. Each person is different and has attributes that either attract or repel depending on individual circumstances. From seeing my wife’s experience with single males (not me not limping all men into this), I am more reliable & I don’t drop someone cause something new comes along. I don’t get clingy as I’m already with the person I love and I’m also interested in friendship not just a booty call. As I said generalisation is a bad thing as we are all individuals with our own set of wants and needs. If single guys work for you, that’s great and I’m happy that you have found the group that gives you what you need. Additionally I’ve been in a loving relationship with my wife and best friend for 25yrs so I’m not scared of commitment and I believe that there is a level of commitment that needs to be shown in a FWB situation, not all singles are into that.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Just honest answers to your question
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
l'm not interested in being someones bit on the side when it suits them. The way l see it is they want their cake and eat it too. There are heaps of gorgeous single men on here to hang out with.
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
Wow. What a sensational body 😍 Yea l know l just say it how it is 😂😂
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RHP User
7 years ago
Rdy2play asked in his op for opinions and thought processes from both sides of the argument. My post is purely my thought process based on actual events. If I had ever had a good experience with an attached-married man....I would have posted it. Maybe attached-married women find it easier to be emotionally-physically-time managed? I have no idea about that answer and would love to hear some .Quoting 'OkeyDoke45' A man posts on here about being in an open relationship and cops it. Lying, cheating, dishonest little so-and-so. A woman posts on here about being in an open relationship and it's all cool, who are we to judge?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Sounds like you are one of the good guys, both you and your wife. It doesnt happen often....as some of the responses have shown. Therein may lay part of the frustration you are feeling. Its not you.....its the few that tend to give the good guys a bad name. I think most humans, male or female, tend to remember the bad experiences more that the odd few good ones. Quoting 'Rdy2play' Ok some more responses to comments... DynamicCouple36 - My profile is straight up and I hide nothing, I have my wife’s RHP profile name on my profile and we are both verified!! ruby_blossum - Sorry that you have obviously had some bad experiences, when I have a play date organised I always show and my wife never interrupts & neither do I when she has a play date. I can do overnighters, we’re are not yet ready to do weekends away but we are both upfront about that as we don’t want to stuff people around. With being seen in public, this is not an issue for either of us and PDA are definitely a thing we both enjoy with a FWB. Mutual respect is an absolute must for both my wife and I with a FWB too.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks ruby_blossum I just like to be honest and upfront with people and so does my wife.
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
However you are emotionally unavailable. Most single ladies need and want someone who makes them feel whole, not alone. A married person or someone in an open relationship is not going to be there fully, in mind, body and soul. Another thing, I do not want to be caught up in any awkward situations that me, the guy or his partner uncomfortable. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks to everyone for their contributions, it has been very enlightening.
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RHP User
7 years ago
And talking as a non swinger. If you are with the love of your life who is also your best friend.....why look elsewhere? If I had that I would be over the moon and would not seek to jeopardize that by meeting others just for sex.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Open marriage is a form of non-monogamy in which the partners of a dyadic marriage agree that each may engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without this being regarded by them as infidelity, and consider or establish an open relationship despite the implied monogamy of marriage. Wikipedia
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RHP User
7 years ago
Well put Shells 😘
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
Bahahaha Shells 😂😂 Now I'm never going to look at pizza the same way again. And your cake is very scrumptious too 😍 As other people have said, this is my 'own' thought process. I choose not to be a pizza. Now lets not get onto the subject of pineapple of pizza. Again. 😂
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RHP User
7 years ago
In fact its what Id like to have for myself in future. As long as there is honesty and respect for all involved. If i want a unattached fwb for the more social and dating activities. Then who is to say I cant have both and see more than one person. Im a bi woman so Its not like i can have everything Im looking for in one person. Im just realistic as been married before and I wont lock myself into suspressed sexuality.
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
Lmao. I have the giggles 😂😂😂 Smorgasbord sounds like a plan. Maybe l can just be the dessert 😋🤪
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luvsilver
7 years ago
You should try your local church fete.There are always a lot of really tasty cakes to try there. Mr Luvsilver
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'Rdy2play' Hi jince, Now the question of what I have to offer that a single guy doesn’t is dangerous territory as it is over simplifying things. Each person is different and has attributes that either attract or repel depending on individual circumstances. From seeing my wife’s experience with single males (not me not limping all men into this), I am more reliable & I don’t drop someone cause something new comes along. I don’t get clingy as I’m already with the person I love and I’m also interested in friendship not just a booty call. As I said generalisation is a bad thing as we are all individuals with our own set of wants and needs. If single guys work for you, that’s great and I’m happy that you have found the group that gives you what you need. Additionally I’ve been in a loving relationship with my wife and best friend for 25yrs so I’m not scared of commitment and I believe that there is a level of commitment that needs to be shown in a FWB situation, not all singles are into that. Yes, I get that some married/attached men can offer the same things that a single guy can, and perhaps offer things a single guy can't. You sound like a nice guy with a lot to offer. However, I need to assess whether it's worth my while getting involved with an attached man and having that added complication. Part of that assessment unfortunately but necessarily involves "generalising" and making reasoned assumptions based on my prior experiences (with both married and single men) and the experiences of others. After all, I don't have time to meet every guy that messages me with promises that he's different. My point is, why would I get involved in that situation when, all other things being equal, I could just find a single guy that is great in bed, treats me well and is more available (physically and perhaps emotionally should things progress)? In your situation, emotional availability will always be off the table and you will always have to factor in another person in your decisions and availability.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I never said I didnt believe in open relationships, as they work for some people, obviously. But I dont understand why people say they already have their best friend and love of their lives in their partners yet its not enough. Id play with my partner, but not without. But I may be old fashioned.
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
That they prefer unattached for availability and in case emotional attachment develops. Dunno about cake or pizza but be careful or you'll be eating Rocky Road for desert
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Katz2
7 years ago
Attached men are not fun if you are a single female. One man didn't reveal he was married, asked to come over on Christmas eve for a drink, yet all night long he was busily answering messages. Lies being fed to his wife and children why he wasn't home as yet from the office. Instead of being at home playing Santa for the kids, he's fucking me. That didn't make me feel good when he confessed a week later. Then there's the one that messages and says sorry running late at a family get together, arrives after midnight and midst the sexual activity, you discover he had forgotten to remove the wedding band! I have more stories that are similar. Been told many a time nah it's ok, we're in an open relationship! I would not rather play with a married or attached man due to the above, but there's the never available when you need him, only when he needs you and it suits the household schedule. Sex is a vital activity and I don't want to be 2nd best, or the "the other woman". I had a woman ring me and abuse me and threaten me for seeing her boyfriend! I had no idea he had a girlfriend! She had stalked me, found me on facebook and Linked In. Who needs this crap in their life? Thus my no married or attached men policy. Couples- sometimes the profile is just the male, most often it's the male interested in you, and the female has no interest in you. I am very transparent and want others to be transparent with me. Sometimes I hear from men that are married how tough it is at home as there's no sex anymore. In today's world, it's not hard to find therapy, couples massages, tantric massage etc etc to deal with these matters. I wish people would look to that as a solution, rather than step out on their wife.
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WishingWell
7 years ago
As a single woman on here, the attached male would have to be pretty special for me to consider him over all of the quality single men on rhp.. I find attached males in an open relationship are often too much drama and hard work to suit my needs atm. But OP I wish you all the best on your journey XXX
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RHP User
7 years ago
Personally, I prefer unattached but not because of availability.. subconsciously I’m more guarded emotionally and not as willing to build a connection when I know they’re attached (probably because I know I won’t be reciprocated)..
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RHP User
7 years ago
Koko we have been together for 25yrs this December and now we are both wishing to explore and have fun, we still play but enjoy experiencing other people too. And no it is not for everyone and that’s cool but it works well for us 😉
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi there Avid Readers , Interesting comments and suggestions . I can clarify one thing ....... The author ‘Mike’ and his lovely wife ‘S’ are both in an open loving and caring marriage . No question . This couple is the real deal .......just in case there are any doubters ..........Take the time to get to know them individually or as a couple , and you won’t be dissappionted .
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RHP User
7 years ago
Abi and I have separate profiles on here and that makes the open element easier for some to take comfort from. Con; some people want full on emotional commitment and I cannot deliver on that. Pro; I can totally let go with my partner and switch off as I have Abi for all my emotional needs. I prefer to be optimistic and promote the fact I won't ever need anything more than fun and intimacy from someone. Each to their own though.
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Stella_69
7 years ago
I am one of these ladies of which you speak and honestly I would prefer not to have to have it listed that way. I have couples listed as an interest too and many couples state on their couples page as to whether they play together or seperate or both. So excluding attached anyone, doesn't totally exclude men like yourself contacting me from a couples profile. The unfortunate thing about attached male profiles for me personally (I know some get off on the idea of cheating, men and women alike, but I dont), is that you already know the moment you see that, that it will be a time consuming process to verify if he is telling the truth about his wife's consent amongst other things. Why would anyone want to waste their time? I see others have raised different issues like availability and time, ability to be seen in public etc.. wanting friend time as well.. So maybe if your profile could account for these things more ladies would consider it. Imagine if we had to ask about all these things everytime. Wow. There would be little time for sex. I find the only way you can ever be sure a man is telling the truth about his wife is if you sit in their loungeroom looking at their wedding pix on the mantel and she is face to face giving her blessings. Why do I say that?? Because the amount of BS you hear from men in your first few years of sex dating puts you in an uncomfortable position. As much as you don't wanna tar everyone with the same brush, unfortunately you need to take care of yourself first. Which is not really conducive to giving benefit of the doubt. If I were you I would make a couples profile too, then link both your seperate verified profiles, so that people can check out your dynamic as a couple. Even if you have no intent on playing together. You can list that on your page. Maybe for some women they do want more be it time, attention or whatever. And they don't think an attached man can provide that. But I feel many women may be like myself. After 21 years of open relationships and 15 years of adult sex dating. It's just not worth my time to leave that option open. Or I just get spammed. They contact you anyway, these cheating "attached" men, it's such a common theme. I am new to RHP, kinda, and originally I put something down the bottom of my profile about married cheating men not contacting me. But if you see my profile now, I've had to write it again at the top. Every platform is different and I was really having issues on here with the numbers of men contacting me who obviously were incapable of reading to the bottom of my profile. I read your profile. Aside from not upfront stating that your wife is more then happy to verify your arrangement, and how that can be done, it seems fairly good to me. I've read a couples profile that said happy to arrange a video chat together from home so you can ask myself and the wife any questions you may have. I liked that. It's empowering to you as single woman, you feel respected in your right to want clarification. Without feeling like the onus is on you. But honestly as much as your profile reads well, I'd still probably not respond to a message if you sent it to me, I may not even read it if it was in my non matching inbox. It's that benefit of the doubt thing. But if you contacted me, from a couples profile and asked me to check out your individual one and explained what was on offer for me. I would definitely take the time to read your message, check out your individual profile and politely respond either way. Great topic to raise. I wonder if others like myself find their experience is really different depending on which site they use??? 🦄💖💋
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eroarts
7 years ago
I agree with AnnieWhichway and Kokoflamingo...insightful. I believe Rdy2play makes some excellent points, their set up with peofiles etc is great, all power to them. On the other hand I have been approached by a number of males that are clearly not informing their partner, go all quite when I ask to talk to their wife on the phone.
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RHP User
7 years ago
We are happy to play with an attached male, but I need to talk to his wife/partner to confirm he is allowed to play on his own. I don't want to be part of a relationship break down.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Stella_69 thanks for your input, I agree with your views and have been trying to update my profile for over a month but it never changes, the admin here are not really up to the task 😔😔😔 Think we’ll take up your idea of a couples profile after running it past my wife first.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I understand what you've experience is as its been simular to my own. Im in an open marriage but my wife is also on the site and has validated me and is one of my friends etc so i believe that has helped me connect better. We are lucky enough to have open minded partners who share our same views so i guess it wouldn't be fair if we had it as easy as the single guys now would it! Haters are going to hate so just give your attention to those who get it.
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Stella_69
7 years ago
My pleasure Rdy2play 😉 shame about the lagging updates to your profile. Really glad you like my idea. Enjoy your Sunday. Keep smiling, stay sexy and best luck with it all 😘
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Exactly. See my post, page 2. 😊 Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
No one is hating on anyone here.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Foxxy Yes. Totally agree. There is usually a difference when playing with a partnered female versus a single. No complaints about either but thy dynamic is very distinguishable. Good point raised.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I’m in the poly community and having FWB or play with attached men is not a problem for me. It’s in the open, people know and meet each other in various states of coupledom. The issue when dating attached can be time scheduling as everyone’s not just busy dating, but also looking after kids, health and their job etc. I don’t have a preference playing with an attached or unattached, as long as there is openness and transparency. I’m a busy person myself and at times prefer attached as I know there’s mutual respect and understanding for each other’s other life aspects and responsibilities. As a rule I don’t date anyone that’s cheating, hence always meeting the wife to ensure it’s consensual.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Louis Theroux has just done a series on Polyamory and he has concluded that it is on the rise, with the continued broadening of human sexuality. I’m looking forward to seeing it, people need to understand that monogamy is not a natural state but one that developed initially for stability of the family unit.
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imjustmetassie
7 years ago
we dont want any males unless his female turns up to.... ive got enough trouble handling the guy ive got so i dont need 2 couples only or females thanks here
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RHP User
7 years ago
Haters comment is not referring to anyone on the post koko. I totally understand why someone wouldn't want to hitch their wagon to an attached person, was just throwing my 2 cents in as im in the same boat.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Yes fair enough.
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RHP User
7 years ago
At the end of the day it all comes down to reading a profile and moving on if it’s not what that person or couple want. Some boundaries aren’t meant to be pushed questioned or taken to heart, only respected.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting 'Stella_69' I am one of these ladies of which you speak and honestly I would prefer not to have to have it listed that way. I have couples listed as an interest too and many couples state on their couples page as to whether they play together or seperate or both. So excluding attached anyone, doesn't totally exclude men like yourself contacting me from a couples profile. The unfortunate thing about attached male profiles for me personally (I know some get off on the idea of cheating, men and women alike, but I dont), is that you already know the moment you see that, that it will be a time consuming process to verify if he is telling the truth about his wife's consent amongst other things. Why would anyone want to waste their time? I see others have raised different issues like availability and time, ability to be seen in public etc.. wanting friend time as well.. So maybe if your profile could account for these things more ladies would consider it. Imagine if we had to ask about all these things everytime. Wow. There would be little time for sex. I find the only way you can ever be sure a man is telling the truth about his wife is if you sit in their loungeroom looking at their wedding pix on the mantel and she is face to face giving her blessings. Why do I say that?? Because the amount of BS you hear from men in your first few years of sex dating puts you in an uncomfortable position. As much as you don't wanna tar everyone with the same brush, unfortunately you need to take care of yourself first. Which is not really conducive to giving benefit of the doubt. If I were you I would make a couples profile too, then link both your seperate verified profiles, so that people can check out your dynamic as a couple. Even if you have no intent on playing together. You can list that on your page. Maybe for some women they do want more be it time, attention or whatever. And they don't think an attached man can provide that. But I feel many women may be like myself. After 21 years of open relationships and 15 years of adult sex dating. It's just not worth my time to leave that option open. Or I just get spammed. They contact you anyway, these cheating "attached" men, it's such a common theme. I am new to RHP, kinda, and originally I put something down the bottom of my profile about married cheating men not contacting me. But if you see my profile now, I've had to write it again at the top. Every platform is different and I was really having issues on here with the numbers of men contacting me who obviously were incapable of reading to the bottom of my profile. I read your profile. Aside from not upfront stating that your wife is more then happy to verify your arrangement, and how that can be done, it seems fairly good to me. I've read a couples profile that said happy to arrange a video chat together from home so you can ask myself and the wife any questions you may have. I liked that. It's empowering to you as single woman, you feel respected in your right to want clarification. Without feeling like the onus is on you. But honestly as much as your profile reads well, I'd still probably not respond to a message if you sent it to me, I may not even read it if it was in my non matching inbox. It's that benefit of the doubt thing. But if you contacted me, from a couples profile and asked me to check out your individual one and explained what was on offer for me. I would definitely take the time to read your message, check out your individual profile and politely respond either way. Great topic to raise. I wonder if others like myself find their experience is really different depending on which site they use??? 🦄💖💋 .....everything you've said resonates with me.One of the reasons I gave up meeting men online was because the cheaters and liars outnumbered the honest ones.Sadly, the genuinely sincere men, and especially ones that allow friend time as well as sex time, are in the minority.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Good on you for being upfront and honest,
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RHP User
7 years ago
Koko and all the other ladies that agree with her... why is there such a focus on your supposed FWB requiring to give you their 100% attention? They are a friend... with benefits. Not a wife or husband or even a partner. They are a friend. Do you expect your female friend of 20 years to give you their 100% attention, to not cancel at short notice because of something coming up? To me it sounds like you are all after more than just a friend with benefits. My partner and I are in an open relationship and we are friends with people that we have hooked up with in the past. But I don't expect to receive their whole attention. I don't expect to be their one and only. I don't expect to date them. Of course a level of friendship is definitely needed but if you don't get there it doesn't mean you are a piece of meat on the side. Why expect a man to be at your beck and call when commitment isn't a part of the casual hook up deal? If you want what you guys are suggesting, go on a dating website. Not a website designed for fast, fun and senxsjal sex... just my opinion and I'm sure some of the guys will agree.
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joanne1991
7 years ago
I’ve done the open relationship only to find that it’s only convenient when it suits him and his commitments, single men are my preference, not saying all are the same but, examples I have 30 minutes at lunch on Tuesday, I’ll text what time is convenient, none of those make me feel warm and fuzzy, thus single men with no other commitments suit me.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I just want to have fun. Basically that’s why we are on here isn’t it. Whether a person is attached or not shouldn’t matter on here. We all have something missing in our lives which we are searching for. I’ve had the opportunity to play with the gentle man that started this forum. Yes he’s married, so am I. I know for a fact he’s in an open marriage where they both play, I’m not. We all have our preferences, some are doable some aren’t. Not all women want single guys. My hurdle is I can’t host. So as long as the male I choose can I don’t see a problem.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I dont expect 100% attention from anyone, ever, your words. I do expect to be treated in a respectful way, not just a "fast, fun" hook up. Thats why I like the friendship side of fwb. And Ive had it before, so wont settle for less. To be honest, shagging someone elses hubby and spending time with them would make me feel uncomfortable. You have a partner so of course you dont want dates. You have sex then go home to your partner. Its no big deal. I know what I want and Ill get it. I dont want to be a virtual strangers one night of fun, thats not me. Ive been on RHP for 4 years and have met some great people, couples, men and women. Ive had some amazing experiences, wouldnt change a thing. So I have no intentions of joining another site but thanks for the suggestion
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
That's kinda rude, telling Koko or anyone else what site they should be on. Let her decide and choose. She's allowed to be here just like you. Anyone can have the right to be here. There's no hard and fast rules. (Well, sometimes there's is 😇😈) After all RHP is a small community where there is one main common interest. That is to meet people. Doesn't matter if it's for a quick root, dating, gangbang, fulfil fantasities, cheat on their partners, or find another lover when in an open relationship. 😊 Ms Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
I understand your frustration. It must be difficult finding exactly what you want. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
less stress and drama.
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Freaky_Fun
7 years ago
Lol Sweetsexy Don't you have a lot to learn. Its called friendship. You should try it sometime 🙄
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RHP User
7 years ago
My wife and I are mostly interested in attached. Our ideal scenario is another couple or two who we just hang out with as friends and play with when the mood takes us. I think for us we feel people in a relationship are already in love and so the risk of some sort of love connection is lessened. The biggest complications is kids, for us to want to invite someone to our house we want to know them reasonably well. However to get to know them well as a couple would require a lot of meet up and so a lot of baby sitters and so it becomes a very long commitment just to get to try to get know someone. So our best solution was to meet up with people as individuals and take things from there. Really I'm unsure on how to prove we are in an open relationship. Maybe what we really need is some sort of family friendly swingers party. One where nothing sexual goes on and everyone just meets up for a nice BBQ in the park. Then at the end of the day someone people can chat later online and swap details if they clicked.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I always request to speak to the better half either by phone or at a social.....I have had a few nasty encounters with hysterical or angry partners......
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RHP User
7 years ago
Stella_69 RHP Admin have now activated the changes to my profile 🤗🤗🤗 Thanks RHP Admin, greatly appreciated.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Freespirit1, just read my profile, quite easy really
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Hawt1
7 years ago
Koko "How many women do you want?" My profile clearly states 3. Lol Ok done thread bombing, please continue.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I won't see men who are married or on a committed relationship, when it comes to open marriages and relatiinships, that's a differrnt kettle of fish but for me personally, I'd want to have a friendly drink and a laugh with the better half 😉 before potentially playing. Transparency is key and unfortunately there are many men on this site who claim to be in an open marriage but they are not. Seven years ago I had what II thpught was a lovely little affair with a man who told me he was in an open marriage, his absolutely distraught wife showing up on my door had no idea and my heart broke for her (we are now really great friends - the ex lover got kicked to the curb). Btrayal hurts, simple as that and I will not be party to someone else being hurt in this way. The downside of having gone through this experience, I want to see it and hear it from their partners mouth
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RHP User
7 years ago
I have no doubt 3 would be a breeze for you....hope you are well you scallywag xx
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks Miss Foxxxy, I do ok here 😉 yes it takes a bit longer due to my situation being attractive to a smaller group of people and that’s cool. I was just really interested in people’s honest opinions and the responses have been great, always good to see things from others view points. Stay sex 😘
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RHP User
7 years ago
Sexy not sex 🙄
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change_it_up
7 years ago
Hey Relatively new to all this but the idea of playing with some one in an open marriage is just off putting. Totally fine if the guy is cheating on his wife - it adds to the excitement, but if you are in love with your wife, why not get someone to join you two? I just dont get it? Anyway that's just my ( the mrs.) opinion and each to their own. I'm not judging anyone
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RHP User
7 years ago
Quoting Koko: You have a regular playmate....how many woman do you want? :) Can I inquire as to your apparent double standards as you posted the above to me yet your comment to Hawt1 comes across as congratulatory.
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RHP User
7 years ago
deehopper64 I’m more than happy to play as a couple but my lovely wife likes us to play separately for the moment and I respect her choice. I have very few boundaries so I’m up for more scenarios than she is presently and that is OK, we are all on our own journey and that should be respected.
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RHP User
7 years ago
It was a joke between friends. I happen to know Mr Hawt. And besides, he is a single guy. No ties.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Komo I find your comments to be some what judgemental, seems you have an issue with someone like me exploring just because I’m married.
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RHP User
7 years ago
You asked for honest opinions and are now getting very defensive. Do whatever you want, but if you ask questions in the forums youll get peoples honest opinions. Which you asked for. You can have 20 playmates if you want, Im just saying that personally, Id never meet up with married guys.
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RHP User
7 years ago
If that's what you and your wife seek,that's fine and I respect that.As a single woman I know what I seek and would like that to be respected also.We each seek what we want & need.Good luck to us all.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi Komo, I’m not getting defensive, I’m addressing your claim to not being judgemental.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi Kokoflamingo, Sorry I addressed a comment to you incorrectly, calling you Komo, sorry not intentional.
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Hawt1
7 years ago
Koko.. Big wet KISS Bonus points for calling me a scallywag MUUAH!
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RHP User
7 years ago
Personally I like my men unattached purely because if we have chemistry and good sexy fun, then there's always the possibility that it may turn into something more. Haha! I live in hope, or is it just fantasy? Then I'd be like all of you lucky ones in loving, honest, open relationships with a sexy, horny man that I have no secrets from and he still loves and respects me, and me him. That, would be winning in my eyes. Attached guys are fun too though 🙌
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Force_of_Nurture
7 years ago
So .. like Rdy2play .. I am also in an open relationship .. so obviously have some skin in the game (and obvious lenses I see things through) Often the first question I'm asked .. by prospective lovers/playmates .. is .. "how do I know you are not cheating" Now.. my instant thought about this is .. 'honestly .. if I were going to cheat (which I wouldn't) .. I would just say I'm single.. and increase my chances of meeting people .. by about 1000% Now.. in saying that .. of course I am genuinely sorry .. to all those out there.. who have experienced someone .. who has said they're in an open relationship .. and lied about it .. .... BUT... I have a sneaking suspicion.. that those out there who have thought they were seeing someone single... that turned out to be cheating .. probably outnumber you ... significantly .. so .. maybe worth keeping that in mind? Also .. in terms of 'emotional availability' .. is it worth considering.. that emotions .. particularly those associated with loving relationships .. are not a finite resource? (I have a relative... with 12 children.. and I can assure you .. that she 'loves' the last one... as much as she did the first one) I think if you were to speak to most of my previous lovers.. they would express how uncomplicated it is to be with me .. I think they would express how emotionally supportive I am (very much a nurturer by nature) Yes.. polyamory is on the rise .. we are evolving .. we are learning that love is not a finite resource ... we are starting to see beyond the myth of the cinderella syndrome ... we are starting to understand that Hollywood's version of 'love' .. isn't quite realistic I have asked many people now .. to consider monogamy from an 'outside perspective' ... .. imagine you have been sent to earth .. by your alien overlords.. to study 'traditional monogamy' ... .. you spend a couple of years.. honestly studying it .. looking at all the statistics .. interviewing people about it .. now ... what are you going to write in your report to the alien overlords.. .. that it is a resounding success? ... that they should consider taking it on as a model? ... I've yet to meet someone.. who would give it more than a hesitant one thumb up .. let alone a glowing report I'm not questioning love.. or committed love .. or romance.. or any of those beautiful.. life-affirming things .. but I do think it is time we started considering other models.. outside of traditional monogamy For those it works for ... awesome... keep doing it ... or keep searching for it .. .or whatever .. .. but for those who are exploring / pursuing other options like mr Rdy2play.. good on you too I imagine... that there are single guys out there.. that are unreliable .. emotionally unavailable... time poor.. over-committed.. ... ... I imagine there are attached guys out there ... that are the same Perhaps.. we should judge people.. by the content of their heart.. by their character.. rather than their relationships status?
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Stella_69
7 years ago
Rdy2play Love your profile updates. Seems to make it clear what's on the table. Well done. Sometimes this is hard to achieve, without writing a novel. 😉 If I were nearby, I'd definitely do lunch 🤣. 😘
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Stella_69
7 years ago
@ deehopper64 That is a very interesting perspective you have on love. Does that mean it is okay for yourself and your hubby to cheat on one another, but not play separately?…. Because cheating is more exciting. Or adds to the excitement. I don't want to misquote you there. Lol This a genuine question, as I'm not judging anyone either. 🤷♀️
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks Stella_69 glad you like the changes and thanks for your suggestions, very much appreciated 💋
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi Man2DesireU, You put that so eloquently, it was very moving. You sound like an amazing man and we’d love to catch up for a drink next time we’re in Perth. Thanks for taking the time to comment, my wife and I found it very uplifting and life affirming. Michael ❤️
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MsJonesy
7 years ago
This resonates with me.... "Perhaps.. we should judge people.. by the content of their heart.. by their character.. rather than their relationships status?" You, and the OP, seem to have the concept well thought out, are capable of rationale discussion and are happy to discuss other opinions. Dare I say....emotional intelligence appears to be a common characteristic. In answer to the original post. Yes I would consider an ongoing situation with a man in an open marriage. There are many ways it can work, there are some men who have the flexibility & time to make it work, and who are not scared of forming ongoing friendships. Unlike quite a few single men, who seem to consider an ongoing friendship one step away from a walk down the aisle. 🤔
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RHP User
7 years ago
Thanks MsJonesy, I appreciate being truely seen, you sound like an amazing woman. Michael 💋
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playfulminx
7 years ago
I think there are a few reasons why singles are preferred. Attached guys (regardless of open or closed marriage) just don't have the same freedom really. They essentially do belong to someone else and those added considerations aren't sexy. Say you have a date night with your spouse, but if that's the only night I've got free to play, you're simply not going to bail on your wife/partner right? I certainly wouldn't, so I'd understand why a guy would seek out a single FWB over me. Other couples/singles may want a more ongoing and flexible arrangement that might include even going away together which I just don't see attached guys being able to do. I don't know how 'open' your relationship is but I draw the line at my spouse taking off to Bali for a fun sex drenched holiday while I have to hold the fort. On the plus side, you're relationship status is stable so you don't get that inevitable text message from a single guy saying they can't play anymore, so for those seeking a more long term arrangement, attached guys could be good.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Attached people are less likely to be able to play with little notice and my schedule is so erratic it would never work
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RHP User
7 years ago
MissSarahCurious I understand your point even thou it is a very broad generalisation.
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RHP User
7 years ago
We are in an open marriage as well and as the female tends to get more of the attention than the male I don't know why that is and yes as a couple we have been hit up by a lot of men more than females wanting to come and play why that is I don't know.
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RHP User
7 years ago
I like your openness and honesty about everything that you have said and I appreciate that my husband allows me to play and never interrupt either as long as I tell him when and where and that whoever it is treats me with respect and dignity just as I do them and he is the same we also enjoy the platonic side of it when we get to meet and just have dinner and drinks and laugh it's not just about the bedroom this openness is very rewarding and there is a lot of trust with us cause like you we have been in a successful relationship for 25 years as for the comments from the women how many do you want well I too like variety and have have more than one FWB, we have met as regular as life allows, they are married n single. But i have had to be dilligent in my selection process as you too have noticed there are alot of people out there who are not as they seem or time wasters that is disrespectful and have you scratched off my list
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