F56
Married & attached men - what are you looking for?
November 19 2013
Comments
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Languid
12 years ago
Far out this topic has certainly generated some deep and meaningful contributions lol. Given that we are all politically correct these days lets get some gender equality into the discussion. To all the married and attached women of RHP. What exactly are you looking for on RHP? Just sex, an hour's stolen moment in your married life? Are you looking for casual sex or looking for ongoing lovers? How do you feel about feelings developing between you and your lovers... Or do you have a strategy in place so that doesn't happen? Why do you think a man should even meet with you? Will keep my mouthguard handy in case someone takes exception to this and wants to hit me lol.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sounds like you after a connection with other women, how would your wife feel about that? Also your wife is young do you ever worry she will meet a another guy where she has a strong sexual attraction. I suppose it wouldn't bother you though?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Go start a new question if that really interests you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Besides since there are no married women complaining about not being able to find men to have discreet affairs with, one assumes than there are enough men out there that don't care whether they are married or not. But it would appear that the reverse may not be true.
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Quoting 'Localonly' Be thankful as they ( we ) are the ones who dominate this site and as most of the women are NON Paying guests the married guys pay for ALL the NON paying ladies.Dependant on the quality of men (case in point)....
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RHP User
12 years ago
Suppose you never gave thought to the fact that may have already happened in the past .. ?
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you're clear with yourself and others then it's much easier. You need to know why it is that you're looking in the first place. For me, I like the excitement. I've always been a thrill seeker and find it hard to get that rush from most things. I don't ever do drugs but I imagine the rush, the anticipation, the event, is much the same. My wife hasn't exactly given permission but has very clearly said if I ever do go looking then it needs to be for the physical aspect only. That's not to say you can't feel close and passionate with the other but the emotional component needs to be distinct. Basically it's just play on the side, having a bit of spice that you can enjoy with another and both come away content and longing for more.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi Ladies, your quite welcome to judge me, I judge myself regularly. I am 49 and have had sex with my wife about twice in 7 years probably longer. I need to feel that I have something sexual to offer before the feelings are completely extinguished. I am currently in Noosaville. I am hetre for a short time before heading a bit further south. I would love to catch up with someone nearby who I can understand my position.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why does it say on your profile that you're 18?? No one likes a compulsive liar....but then when you play the feel sorry for me at the same time thing....you're bound to score your head even further up your arse - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
They're gutless and greedy wonders :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ok, this topic has been on my mind while I go over the forums. So I'm putting in "my two cents worth" so to speak. I've done the committed relationship, did it for many many years. He worked away, I worked full time an was the caregiver for our children. I was 100% faithful. We had an amazing sex life, never dull. Yet he strayed of that I'm sure, an was informed of this by friends. This aside, I ask myself why he chose to cheat. What makes a man cheat? I've read everyone's speal on this to date, male and female views. It is an eternal question for which there is no real answer for of this I'm convinced, each person has desires, wants and needs. So is it when boredom sets in, straying begins ? Or is there something more ? I think its the want of something new, an alluring mistress, sexual desire for forbidden fruit, the extecy of not being caught. Knowing you can get away with it, something to spice up your love life....take your pick, there are many excuses for cheating on your spouse. My curiosity for an answer lead me to the cheaters themselves, research I guess lol. To my surprise, I found the guys to be very genuine, caring partners that had their individual stories about why they strayed. I see these men in a different light now.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Up till about a week ago, I was listed as attached, but as most that have been around know, I've been on this site for about 6 years now.Forum hog, general profile check overs, I'll send a message to a profile I see that I thinks well written, or is someone that catches my eye. Not to meet up, just to say, nice profile etc etc. In short, why am I still here ? Who really knows, I'm not after anything, I guess is just another group i'm I suppose you could call a member of and read forums and check profiles when I get bored and want to fill some time. This site is pretty open and no topic off limits. Almost like a breath of, cut the bullshit and give me the facts site of sorts.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Very interesting topic I've enjoyed reading it all ... What of the cheating attached who have hot frequent sex on tap at home, and open discussions and offers about playing with others, which they gasp horrified over and knock back. but then still go and cheat frequently behind their partners back without the others knowledge......wtf is that about? I personally would love the answer to that one :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'RubenesqueRed' Very interesting topic I've enjoyed reading it all ... What of the cheating attached who have hot frequent sex on tap at home, and open discussions and offers about playing with others, which they gasp horrified over and knock back. but then still go and cheat frequently behind their partners back without the others knowledge......wtf is that about? I personally would love the answer to that one :) - Posted from rhpmobile Sick to death about hearing about how 'she' shut down, how 'she' focused on the kids and tuned out. 'He' had to look elsewhere as 'she' didn't pay out. It is becoming quite clear that 'he' just wants to test different waters even though 'she' was just as hungry for new experiences. I ended up saying to my ex after knowing he'd done the deed elsewhere several times "So can I take on other lovers as you aren't meeting my needs?" Whoah! He didn't like that. I've been single ever since...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Besides since there are no married women complaining about not being able to find men to have discreet affairs with, one assumes than there are enough men out there that don't care whether they are married or not. But it would appear that the reverse may not be true. Exactly! I am in a sexless marriage. I'm too much of a wuss to leave. I have a boyfriend I adore and he is so sexy and such a turn on he satisfies me in many ways. I am faithful to my boyfriend in one on one situations (we can play together with others and that's not cheating) but there are indeed a ton of offers.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Emotionally mature my ass .. that is all.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Guess who fell inlove with their fuckbuddy .. moved out to live with them and left his 3 year old , newborn child and wife just recentley .. yeh you guessed aha .. Mr "Dont play the fwb/nsa game" .. bahahahaha .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Badically everyone bullshits their asses off on what they say and are rarely if ever honest .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'in_2_u_74' Badically everyone bullshits their asses off on what they say and are rarely if ever honest . I think your hurt and anger have clouded your judgement...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have held back from commenting on this topic because I just expected all the emotions of people who have either been hurt or have strong opinions about what loyalty is would fire up and there would be little respect for people just having different lifestyle choices. Having read the last 11 pages of comments and abuse from both sides the only real answer to all of this is that there are all sorts of reasons. Some people just will deceive and use this site for that purpose, that is their values base. Others have agreement between them for open relationships. Some males and females are not happy sexually but are incredibly satisfied in every other part of their life with the partner they have, so they use RHP or other sites to meet this need. Sometimes there are medical reasons and mental health reasons. Basically there are so many to count and until any of us can completely understand what each person’s journey is then who are any of us to judge. We can only decide what we will or will not be a part of. My own reason is one based on an understanding of my sexuality and philosophy. I personally do not believe in monogamy and while respecting everyone else can have a different opinion, I believe that the traditional concept of marriage and even having monogamous relationships is outdated and sets people up to fail. The concept was developed historically largely for religious and social control purposes and it is my belief the human beings are like most living creatures who’s instinct is to ensure your gene’s are spread widely, and human beings are a highly sexually focused animal. The ever increasing divorce rates, that don’t include many separations, reflect that this social norm just fails. So for me I accept that people can come and go in my life and I don’t need some level of sexual ownership over them. The love I enjoy with my partner is based on many wonderful things, including our sexual relationship. We entered the relationship knowing that I strongly held this belief and that my sexual choice is not monogamy. I also knew hers was, so our understanding is to respect each other for who we are and I have agreed to never bring my extra-curricular pursuits home in any way. We have been together for 4 years and at this point in time our relationship works. This is due to many reasons and I believe one of them is that we allow each other this freedom.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just the truth . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hurt nor angry .. just no tolerance for hypocritical bullshit artists . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am single so i cant answer the first part however I know a couple of girls who play with married men. So after seeing this topic I decided to ask them why they did it. All be it after being out for a few drinks with them last night. Both girls said it suited their lifestyle at the moment. Both are young single girls and the reason they said it suited them was they didn't want a relationship they just wanted to be able to go out and have fun. I asked why married men then? You can't really do that with them. Their response? They didn't want a man to go out and have fun with they wanted one man to satisfy their sexual wants and desires but not get clingy and jealous when they went out and had fun. This conversation went on for quite a while but the jist of it was The girls didnt want to sleep with lots of guys but wanted regular sex Apprently married men are very appreciative of the attention and so the girls find it easier to get what they want in the bedroom Their married men are not clingy so it leaves the girls lots of free time to do the things they want to do. Both girls are close friends 23 and 24 and after chatting to them I think I may start looking for a married/attached lady myself haha
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RHP User
11 years ago
This is a sex site end off... That's why we are here if it's looking for love .. In the wrong place..... Some call it cheating .. Some say it's fun.. Am married we both can play alone because we want sex.. Just last night we had some fun with a devociced guy in are car while I drove exciting , different, sexy...That's why he is here to have sex.sex sex sex and more sex
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RHP User
11 years ago
That is just b.s in my opinion ! Married men can get just as clingy and attatched .. and psychotic to boot . My ex fwb got more than attatched .. he didnt even like me speaking online or otherwise to another guy after a couple of weeks - and would go nuts at me for even mentioning i chatted to a guy either than him so if thats not clingy wtf is !?
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RHP User
11 years ago
We werent even "exclusive" . I had no problem with him going out and having sex with whoever he wanted !
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RHP User
11 years ago
We will play with attached people, but we will feel hurt if they lie to us. We just want people to be upfront with us. we are sure that people on this site that are afraid to say they are attached is the judgment. But we figure that everyone on this site is on here for different reasons, but mainly to have a connection with another person, whether they are attached or not, we are all looking for that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'in_2_u_74' Badically everyone bullshits their asses off on what they say and are rarely if ever honest . Shooting from the lip?You do have a dark view on humanity don't you?Such sweeping generalisations are usually quite hard to defend as being accurate.But don't let me stop you from bashing married men...we're all the same aren't we?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not at all . I have no reason to lie about anything .. Especially to people on here that I neither know personally , nor care for .. and guess you fall under that category also . Please feel free to clarify your assumption of your comment "a dark view on humanity" though . Would that be because the guy I was referring to as a hypocrite was married , and for some reasons or feelings you are harbouring pertaining to your own personal life .. it hit a nerve perhaps .. ? There are obviously other reasons I say this as 1 .. We never met off this site and 2 .. I knew the guy in question for 7 years prior to any sexual connection we had but .. guess you'd thought of all this before posting right ? If anything I was generalizing to people on this site in general and on the whole ( proud to say I'm not one of them and never could be ) . A lot I've noticed and from experience , are never if rarely truthful , and seem to use this site as a means of escapism and live in fantasy .. especially when it comes to how they approach and obtain their sexual encounters on here whether they be married , single , attached whatever , and either bend their real life situations to boot or .. just outright lie and bullshit to obtain what they want . Hmm .. is there anything in a username .. ( Jack_Denials ) .. Kind of speaks volumes .
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RHP User
11 years ago
"Badically everyone bullshits their asses off"
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RHP User
11 years ago
"Basically everyone" .. ( nice reference to my typo also in previous sums up your maturity level in a nutshell as , wasn't aware this was a spelling bee but whatever makes you feel important in life is fine ) . Does not include the rare few using this site therefore how you obtained categorizing or married men bashing from my post is amusing . Please relay once again how I am bullshitting or painting myself into a corner ?! When you can extend on your remarks and actually aren't making yourself look even more moronic .. get back to me . Hopefully this time , it will be with something half witty and half comprehensible . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
a little harder .. my statement was basically everyone - not everyone . Put your thinking cap on .. ready , set .. go ! ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I completely agree with Jack. Also, I think the only one pointing out your spelling error was you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Agree with whatever you want .. not quite sure what exactly as as yet though as noone , including yourself .. has expanded exactly on why im a bullshit artist , have a dark view on humanity and also am apparentley am bashing all married men in relation to a comment that was directed at .. geez .. not Jack - who so sorely took offence to it for whatever reason . As for basically everyone i didnt say all .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Feel free to expand on what ive asked you to , you also meander .. since neither of you have a clue to what i was referring to unless you personally knew the person im talking about , and the situation of mine , his and our relationship on a site we never met off as we knew oneanother through family 7 years prior ? Not all life evolves "online" you know .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Firstly you mention someone abandoning wife and newborn then you follow with the assertion that everyone is full of it. It is this blanket assertion I take issue with and nothing else. You have gone on to muddy the waters with red herrings...My user name was a typo on a menu in Vietnam, nothing original deep or sinister there, I just liked the sound of it.Typos...pfft my user name is a typo, I live in a glass house and don't throw stones there, if you read enough of my posts you'll see I leave typos all over the place.Half witty and half comprehensible...I'll do my best over my breakfast.I don't know or care if you are or are not a bullshit artist and I never claimed that you were. I was trying to point out thta your error was and is making sweeping claims when it is so hard to back them up.For example if I say ALL politicians are full of it then maybe a Jackie Lambie (theoretically) could come along and be the one example that proves me wrong.Hmm I'm pretty thick skinned and yet to take offense...sorely or otherwise...to your rantings.I like accuracy and also for people to back up what they say vague generalisations are the seed bed of bigotry and intolerance.Finally for the record I do not approve of married men lying about their status just to get laid...any love I might find will know I'm married so don't tar me with that brush. Make your own value judgement about the fact that I'm looking but don't say I'm bullshitting whilst looking...times up so I'm posting with or without any typos.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Once again .. the reference made was not directed at you so , not my problem if you took offence . Sorry you thought you were so "special" that it included you . Considering you claim you only had a problem with my supposed "generalization" and all ... oh FYI .. the reference to your username had nothing to do with you being married but keep feeling free to assume .. touch of paranoia there perhaps .. ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Its far from a sweeping generalization that's hard to back up , when you've had more than enough experiences to do so with users on this site hence my the comment of "basically everyone" and not "everyone" . Think you read to far in to that . - Posted from rhpmobile
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montyv12
11 years ago
People often look for what they are not getting at home but don't want to split from their wife if a lady or couple are looking for fun only why should it matter while if it's a ongoing thing well it time to move on and come out on it The fact that some see this as wrong is hard to understand if you don't like it that's ok but if you judge someone for doing it well stick with face book we accept many things in life smokers ,drinkers,drug takers ,gays,same sex marriage but cheating on a partner a no no open you're eyes step out side and smell the roses
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RHP User
11 years ago
As to why I am here. What do I offer single (not married, separated, divorced) wormen? You'd have to ask them By all accounts I have a good hit rate, it seems. For a 55 yo 'attached' guy I get responses to posts, get to meet some people and get to be intimate with some of them. Maybe a 10%/20%/50% ratio - as in 10% replies, 20% of them g on to extended discussions or meetings, and 50% of those become entre' to intimacy. I have hooked up with some young single women who are interested in learning from someone experienced. They have told me a lot of young guys also are 'wham-bang-thank-you-man' fuck-you, fuck-off artists. These women are turned on by sex with an older guy but don't want anyone to know or someone who will stalk them or risk detection. They select carefully. I have hooked up with some older separated or divorced women who are getting back on the horse. Often they start on RHP coming from a longterm sheltered monogamous background where they were left and want someone solicitous to show them the ropes, maybe introduce them to some sexual practices outside their understanding, and basically help them get their rocks off with a real flesh/blood male not a sex toy - often for the first time in years. A surrogate if you will - who will also help them understand how the mating game for people off the market works. They may be looking for unattached - then find this site exposes them to 'I wanna fuck your [tits/ass/pussy/peehole]' artists and not many genune prospects. So, they settle for Mr Right Now until they find Mr Right. I am a gentleman - I supply a venue, lunch, dinner. And panper them. So it's sex, it's companionship. It's intimacy. I've had two relationships off RHP that have lasted six months or more. I don't just phone/msg wanna fuck baby. So I guess I have a bedside manner. But I genuinely like women.
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RHP User
11 years ago
After reading posts from mature married/attached men I can understand (although maybe not always agree with) what they are saying ... partner's illness, loss of interest in sex, loving their partner but feeling sexually neglected, love their kids and want to keep things financially stable, etc. as being reasons for looking elsewhere for intimacy and sexual fulfilment. What I don't understand is 20 somethings who are "attached" and also looking elsewhere for discreet sexual satisfaction. That is just outright being unfaithful potentially hurting their partner if they aren't aware of the roving eye syndrome. Is it just a case of sowing their wild seed and if so, why not stay single and enjoy all that is out there? Or is it a case of having your cake, eating it too and forever looking for more? LG
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RHP User
11 years ago
Monty, no thank you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm glad to hear you are accepting of "gays", but what does that have to do with cheating on your wife?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'montyv12' People often look for what they are not getting at home but don't want to split from their wife if a lady or couple are looking for fun only why should it matter while if it's a ongoing thing well it time to move on and come out on it The fact that some see this as wrong is hard to understand if you don't like it that's ok but if you judge someone for doing it well stick with face book we accept many things in life smokers ,drinkers,drug takers ,gays,same sex marriage but cheating on a partner a no no open you're eyes step out side and smell the roses As most people that have been cheated on will tell you..... its not the sex part that hurts the most ... its the lying, deceit and betrayal of something they hold sacred and only share with you. All the examples you give of acceptable behaviour have nothing to do with betraying someone else. Im not sure what your reference to Facebook is all about but I'm pretty confident in assuming it has been used for hook ups too, not just sites like RHP. OPs question isnt about justifying cheating, its about understanding the motives for why married men do it. LG
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RHP User
11 years ago
I find on these sites that a lot of people are very judgemental - without knowing what has caused the issue. Sure, there are plenty who have gone through messy divorce situations & I can understand that.My wife went through a "teaching" at a church & I found things went down hill from there. The two leaders were single women & they led my wife to thinking that perhaps she & her best friend were not far off a lesbian relationship had she not married me. She was quite upset.Previously, sex was hot & enjoyable - she'd wear the sexy lingerie I bought for her, we'd have sex out in the open on isolated roads, in creeks, etc, she'd read the odd sexy book & one night when I fell asleep early, I was awakened by the bed moving. She was reading a book called "Lace: & was masturbating - we had HOT sex after that.Now, the sexy books get given to Lifeline. She bought me V1 of 50 Shades & refused to read it, the lingerie drawer has been decimated - even an expensive body suite that was unopened went to Lifeline. One night, I wanted to have an interesting time & I got her black bra, knickers, suspender belt & stockings out but all I got was "How dare you get MY gear out, put it away!" She won't talk about it unless it is from her side of things.I have tried to get her to use dirty talk - but "that is not me" I'm told. I bought her a new toy recently - was told "You know I don't like you going into THOSE shops".I love my wife & we share the housework & many outside activities, family but I want some sensuality in my life.I know I'm going to be hung, drawn & quartered by some on this forum but please just consider others who have needs.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It is hard to see clearly what motives move us to do things sometimes, for as people we change over time, which I think is normal. In a marriage where communication is good there will still be hard times to work through, this is also normal. Anyone who thinks otherwise is delusional .. or not on RHP anyway. But a good marriage will want to do the growing together, seeing the unity as being more important than the individual. It is hard to identify what I have to offer another as OP has asked, when clearly everyone here has self interest at heart, seeking what is going to satisfy them (or hoping it will). Some people just have an itch, others are seeking more. Probably need to ask, whose self interest is less self interested than anothers perhaps? The whole discussion moves to self justification and judgement of that pretty quickly as has already been discussed. My journey started with very high moral standards, and yet I find myself here .. I do know why, sort of. Mostly about me. 20 years of sex being a war zone, and no physical touch for last 3 years is compelling argument for some, but not others. What does a married man have to offer? Was it a myth that a woman would go for a married man because there was less risk of emotional attachment, which was what she wanted. (Obviously this excludes all the protesting woman who want attachment). Is it a myth that a woman might want a married man, or even an older man because he might be a better lover simply because he has had more practice. ( sorry to all the single studs out there, but married men do get more sex than you, its just the way it is, and it is because they are married) Having started on dating sites simply as escape / entertainment, to being able to be held by a warm woman who wants me is a huge change, and very enjoyable. Is there a risk, yes of course ! Who wants to wound deliberately? No one, usually. But guess what ... life doesn't always pan out as one imagines sometimes ... Am I enjoying getting to know people? Yes, friendships are growing, are there rules? Yes, foolish for there not to be ... Are there feelings? Yes .. who has a friend they like but no emotions? Maturity is a big factor as to what will happen in the future. But the self interest ... I can only wait until my status changes to separated, which seems inevitable, will I be regarded differently then? Probably not ... who knows. But its my life, I can smile every day, even if its only to myself sometimes. A strategy? Be open and upfront on profile so you already know. My current lovely friend is so because I said I was married from the beginning, I didn't hide it ... but we like and enjoy each other ... all good for now. Others have turned aside, with out getting to know me ... just their rules ... all good. It is intriguing though, that married women wanting discreet get togethers might not chose a married man, I would have thought the mutual self interest would have been better protection. Maybe its just me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
than single men?...Really,huh..who knew..so all the women here who are not interested in married or attached men are either lying or think that the married men are single?....
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' than single men?...Really,huh..who knew..so all the women here who are not interested in married or attached men are either lying or think that the married men are single?.... You know better than to take a general statement out of its context and bend it into something else ... those are your conclusions, not mine... off topic ?? And you wonder why men are hesitant to bare their hearts in these forums ??? RHP is its own microcosm, in the infinitely bigger real world, by comparison, its irrelevant.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have to agree with MOOKA
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was contacted by a married man from Perth,a template message.He is here on holiday and looking for anyone,and I mean anyone ...Does this broad sweeping messaging actually work?.he states on his profile that he is just looking for one off encounters with basically anyone that will have sex with him because he has a huge sexual appetite...now I am not against the idea of anonymous sex and have indulged in this myself but as a constant regular thing,no... Or maye because he is on holiday he is like a kid in candy store...I thanked him for the. Contact and wished him luck. Xx Freya
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RHP User
11 years ago
You mean........ casting a net broad and wide to catch anything at all..... doesn't make you feel special?!!!
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compressor
11 years ago
I just take things as they come and does not have to be about sex. I would even love to give a lady an all over body massage as making her smile would make me feel great. I have chatted to a few ladies for some time and that is all we have done. I guess it is all down to the individuals and there must be respect for each other
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RHP User
11 years ago
Special indeed:) xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have been with my lover 28 years married. My lover is married also. As someone else said , it's different parts of the pie I have been jealous on very odd occasions. Not sure why. A wobbly day. I don't want to lose either. But I will one day. But overall I am blessed. My lover and I have intimacy that my marriage lacks. Not just sexually although thay is a huge part of it. But emotionally. Bash away. I love both - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' I know it sounds bizarre, lots of women are on RHP for NSA sex however I think most women would agree that ongoing sex often results in feelings. And that's a risk because you will never be available to give her what she needs. It's hard enough when you are with someone who is single! Maybe women are always open to something developing even when they have stated NSA? Or maybe women are the ones who are not lying or fooling themselves... Ongoing sex means feelings which can lead to getting your heart broken. You know Meeka. I think that there are a couple of things going on here. Firstly for me developing feelings for somebody is not that big of a deal, it's bound to happen if you are seeing somebody for any period of time. I have a few ex-lovers who I am great friends with still even though the sex is over. The issue is that before the relationship starts (and yes it's a relationship if we are talking about seeing your lover more than once) if you both know what the boundaries are, then you can deal with things (provided we are both rational) if it becomes more than you wanted. I've had a couple of lovers where in any other circumstance we could see ourselves being together and at that point we decided to end the sexual contact. The other thing is that for many men sex needs no emotional connection. For many women it's the opposite (and yes I'm generalising from my own personal experience) so it's not unusual for a guy to fuck a woman in an ongoing relationship and have little feelings for her..... I think women know when this is happening because of the breakup line "You're just using me....." it's true!!! But I suppose the problem develops when there is a mismatch in what the two partners want and need...... Ahhh life's complicated eh...... But thanks for the post.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hi Meeka, We arenew to RHP, just signed up. My partner and I have agreed to having an open relationship to satisfy the physical desires of each of us. However, our cardinal rule is, if an emotional connection arise that impacts our own relationship with each other, then we have to call if off. To assist in enforcing this, we are completely open with each other about our experiences which includes how we feel after the experience. My partner is curious in having some fun with another girl, and is open to including me in a FFM experience. So essentially, nothing is really off limits, we have just agreed to talk to each other about it, and if the connection to someone becomes too great, then we call it off. I hope this makes sense.
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RHP User
11 years ago
No sympathy hey? Well don't judge a situation unless you have experienced it first ... even then err on the side of caution.It takes a hell of a lot more energy and determination to maintain a family under difficult circumstances than to destroy one so you can 'rediscover yourself' or whatever shitty excuse people who split families come up with. Extra marital affairs amongst married folks are a useful way of preventing broken homes and maintaining financial status for both husbands and wives. That why the rich take that approach! Hillary and Bill Clinton?
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RHP User
11 years ago
The authors of Sex at Dawn would totally agree with you..but they are also promoting openness .Their primary motivation for writing this book was because of the high volume of marriages in the USA that were destroyed by infidelity xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' The authors of Sex at Dawn would totally agree with you..but they are also promoting openness .Their primary motivation for writing this book was because of the high volume of marriages in the USA that were destroyed by infidelity xxFreya ...and I thought it was to enlighten the masses
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm in a relationship and I have it written in my profile that I am. She's unaware of what I do, our sex life isn't that great and after many failed attempts at re spicing it I've given up. Her sexual interests are far different from mine but we have a family together and I love her very much which is why I stay with her. I'm on this site for sex it's as simple as that, whether that be one night stands or casual ongoing encounters. I wouldn't develop feelings for these woman, if they were to develop feelings for me then I'd cut ties and be on my way. I'm not going to try convince any woman to meet up with me, I tell it how it is to them and I leave the ball in their court. If they want to meet up then great and if not there's no harm done, I'll just move on and try again. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Let me see if I understand your arrangement. Say I was to have some fun with your partner. As soon as he has put on his clothes and left, he will be coming straight home to you. And he will tell you everything. Every. single. detail. Have I understood you correctly? Will you also expect the lovers you take to do the same? To divulge all your sexual particulars to their partner? Do you think the partner will enjoy the tales?
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aussian43
11 years ago
In my case, I am after sex, pure physical fun. But I like there to be an element of friendship as well. Being male I wouldn't not have a problem with a one night stand. But ideally I would like to find a lady to be friends with, plus we can have sex on a regular basis. Have managed 2 hookups so far. With my first hookup I had a great time, unfortunately she has a boyfriend now. We remain good friends and talk on a regular basis (and alas, nothing more). I was lucky with a second hookup in another town I was visiting for work, but I will only get to catch up with her every few months. Strategy for dealing with feelings developing? I am honest what I am after and what I am offering, and in my limited experience so far it hasn't been an issue. My partner know what I am doing, I have not hidden anything from her. Her biggest concerns has been connecting with psychos and stalkers, along with the disease risks. We have been together 14 years so far, not going to change just because I screw someone else occasionally.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I joined this site by random coincidence. I'm at a point where I've been in a solid relationship for almost half of my life. I've missed the years in my life where most people are still single, experimenting, trying out all of life's offerings. I started a family early on, married early, any regrets? Heck no. So my wife isn't the most sexually adventurous, but I love her all the same. I'm here, to see how other people handle being in similar situations. Yes there's a lot of things I'd like to try sexually and intimitely but am I able to do so in my current married capacity? Probably not, but as mentioned early on in the thread, many in this situation aren't willing to throw away family, friendship and relationships for the sake of a bit of sexual exploration. Some people are married(or in a relationship with) a person who's easily approachable in respects to such things, others like myself are not. Supporting someone who has had mental health issues takes a toll and is a heavy burden, and as result of such issues, discussion of certain wants/desires may open up a pandoras box of insecurity and anxiety of which the lid can never be placed back on. So, what do I hope to get out of being here? Honestly I don't know, the chance to make my own mind up in my own time, about what it is I want and on my own terms. Does that mean I will follow through on it? I can't say at this very second for certain, that's a decision that will be made if all stars align and the right opportunity presents itself. I really don't think there's one reason on its own for why we 'married and/or attached men' are here and why we are. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
married and now divorced. Wouldn't give RHP a go until after the marriage ended 'cause not fair on anyone to play like that. In terms of what the guys that are still married want, well I would guess it's sex and sex for no other purpose than fulfilling an in-built desire. But I guess there will always be the nasty ones who do it to spite their wives or to prove some other point - and in those cases they're obviously after power.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'xeena' Let me see if I understand your arrangement. Say I was to have some fun with your partner. As soon as he has put on his clothes and left, he will be coming straight home to you. And he will tell you everything. Every. single. detail. Have I understood you correctly? Will you also expect the lovers you take to do the same? To divulge all your sexual particulars to their partner? Do you think the partner will enjoy the tales? Whenever I play, I tell my hubby when, where and who beforehand and go into detail about it when we're alone together later. Most of my playmates are sports about it and let me use my ipad, to record the action for him, or at least take a couple of kinky pics on my phone. On a few occasions, I've come home to him wearing another man's cum on me to show him what a naughty girl I've been then he takes me inside and punishes me. It's all in good fun and if it were no longer fun, we'd stop.
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RHP User
11 years ago
mostly when u dont get satisfied by partner, and i believe girls on this site like to try almost everything, u can get bit dirty try everything without judging
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RHP User
11 years ago
I said love,I said pet I said dear...In your mind you have devised a way to look at your particular situation as "not cheating on your wife" because you do not want to burden her with your needs and issues....and you don't wish to identify with all the other cheating scumbags...because you are different...but reality bites...you risk everything when you scratch that itch....just make sure it's worth it...How will you handle her added pain if she finds out,how will you handle your guilt..and there will be guilt..and really how on earth will you find the time ...because you sound very time poor to me...but kudos to you,your profile is very up front and while I sympathise with your situation,err on the side of caution and may your wife return to good health soon hugs Freya xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
In my opinion only.....This is a sexy website....for fun, flirting, being naughty and meeting others of similar persuasion. It is not E harmony. I understand some people on here are looking for life partners.....is this really a place for that? So having said that who cares who is on here, and what their status is.....this would be their own private business. We are all on here to have fun (well so i thought so anyway). If a woman or couple on here wants a male or female for NSA sex (which many do) wouldn't one HOT half of a married couple be the ideal candidate? If their partner wasn't aware, that is then a reflection also upon their personality and morals. One of my favourite sayings "liars must have impeccable memories" If a male wants that kind of thing, go to Ashley Maddison or go hook up in a club......and then good luck to them! Though my partner is only semi interested in the scene at this moment, she knows I am on here. My profile also reflects that though I still classify myself as a "couple" and not single. If I am not a suitable candidate for someone because I am only one half of a couple. well, lets just say choice is a marvellous thing. Thats all cool with me.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Nothing has happened yet, Perhaps I wasn't articulate enough in my profile, basically I'm curious about a few things and I'd like to explore but it's hard to explain it to my wife for a number of reasons, A- she just won't understand B- it will make her feel insecure in that she may be doing something wrong Those are just a couple of the many emotions I know she may express, none I can see being positive. As you say, I'm pretty up front with my profile, and I won't be rushing out to be naughty. I've had a profile on here for more than 2 years (had a deactivated one before this one) and I've not gone running off behind my wife's back. I still make love to her like I did when we were married, and I care as much for my little family as I ever had. Getting on a forum, and expressing my feelings/desires/opinions about my sexuality and what I want in my life are a long way from Going out and having sex with random people out of spite or lack of regard for my wife. I appreciate your sentiment, but you can't get the whole picture just from a profile alone. It's just words. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
*like when we were newly married* - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
My x husband cheated multiple times on me. I never refused sex and he worked away, it got to the point that I went most of my late 20s early 30s sexless. I got so lonley I cheated. I'm still friends with him and subsequently left my marriage.as I hated the fact I was a cheater. I dident want to cheat I was just so fricken lonley. I chose a single man because I don't want to hurt another woman. I can't do that to another woman. Especially if they have no idea that their partner is lying to them. I just left a relationship where my partner cheated with a female workmate who knew me and stood in our home.... I'm more upset that a woman could do that. Cause I can't get my head around it. I will never hook up with a married man.as I learned my hard painful lesson about cheating. I will never cheat again either it's not worth it. The damage it causes is not worth it for sex. If u need it pay for it if your wife is not into swinging. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'after3511' mostly when u dont get satisfied by partner, and i believe girls on this site like to try almost everything, u can get bit dirty try everything without judging I'm glad you have such a positive attitude, why don't you come back in six months and tell us how you did?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I think I understood your situation fairly well,and words are never just words,words convey a myriad of thoughts,desires,feelings,memories,truths,lies,ideas knowledge....the list is endless..the forums are a great place to come to to express them and exchange your point of view.Sometimes it can be a bumpy ride but hey,who doesn't love a roller coaster...xxFreya
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ajaussie
11 years ago
I think when two people are meeting here purely for sex and physical contact ....they should not develop feelings for them. Just enjoy the sex.......if not regularly....then occasionally. meeting regularly can result in developing feelings...cheers
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RHP User
11 years ago
>To all the married and attached men of RHP. What exactly are you looking for on RHP? Just sex, an hour's stolen moment in your married life? Are you looking for casual sex or looking for ongoing lovers? How do you feel about feelings developing between you and your lovers... Or do you have a strategy in place so that doesn't happen? Why do you think a woman should even meet with you? I bet there are as many reasons as there are profiles, from men unhappy in their relationships through to those whose wives are not interested in sex and have given them a green light. I guess also they would be seeking a range of things from a person they meet. some would want a fling, some a relationship, some just a friend with benefits. I see a lot of married women on RHP that stipulate immediately that they're in love with their man and only want no-emotional-strings attached sex to make up for what their workaholic husband is too tired to supply. I bet a lot of married men are in the same boat.... So potentially a woman could prefer a married man to avoid emotional attachment and get a fun friend with benefits.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quite the wordsmith aren't you champ.....;). That was a nice spiel you prepared there... I've worked in construction and mining for about the last 8 years and your story is an extremely common one amongst workers (It seems a to be very common amongst Tradesman to settle-down and start families very early). Have you ever thought about seeing a working-girl instead? That's a common solution amongst guys I've worked with and it partially negates the emotional betrayal (kind of). Forgive me for being sceptical if you pull out the old 'I can't afford it' call as surely if finances is an issue, simply cut back of your usual recreational activities for a couple of weeks. I'm sorry to hear you wife is un-well and unfortunately for you this will likely exacerbate the repercussions (not just for you) if your ever outed. For me personally the fact you have numerous cock-shots on your profile isn't exactly in line with your whole 'innocent babe in the woods' routine. A & L XO
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RHP User
11 years ago
I just figured that when in Rome... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do as the Romans ;) There you go again. 'It's not my idea I just did it because everyone else did'. Well done. Your a saint ;)
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CaryGrant387
11 years ago
Good question, Meeka. My situation: my wife of many years wants to give up sex, I don't. The few occasions when we do get it on are unpleasant and generally end in conflict; they certainly aren't much fun for me and for her they're just "doing her duty". Things weren't always like this, she used to enjoy sex to the full and get a lot of satisfaction from it. But, bodies change, she doesn't want to do anything in bed. What am I to do? Now, I love my wife to bits and look forward to growing old with her. Apart from the emotional connection we complement each very well. Can I tell you she's an outstanding cook? AND she has some pretty serious qualifications to back up her culinary skills. If that doesn't get all you blokes jealous I'll add I'm a wine merchant. How about that for yin and yang? Visitors get very well fed and watered at our place I can tell you; every night I enjoy a superbly-prepared meal, sometimes something as simple as a perfect omelette, along with a bottle of something decent. I'm sensible enough to realise a feed's far more important than a fuck, there's no way I'm going to jeopardise my marriage through some silly indiscretion. But, what to do for sex for me? I'm an old-fashioned softie who adores women. Many years ago I worked in publishing which was full of well-educated, young, middle class women who were wonderful company and happy in their careers. Now I'm in the wine trade which also has a lot of similar women. I LOVE taking to women and being around them. It would be crass of me to take advantage of these women knowing that most of them want something more from male company than I'm able to give. But what about those married women who're in a situation similar to mine? Is it dishonourable for me to want to have a sexual liaison with them if that's all they want? I'd rather not have wham, bam/thank you ma'am sessions, it'd be nice to engage with the person over time (I really do find women interesting) so's to at least be aware of her feelings, but, if that's all she wants, well, I'll have to grin and bear it. But I'd rather not. There are many and varied situations for RHPers, just as there are many and varied needs.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'classywicked' In my opinion only.....This is a sexy website....for fun, flirting, being naughty and meeting others of similar persuasion. It is not E harmony. I understand some people on here are looking for life partners.....is this really a place for that? So having said that who cares who is on here, and what their status is.....this would be their own private business. We are all on here to have fun (well so i thought so anyway). I care because an attached or married man can not give me what I want. I want to go on dates, I want to go to swingers clubs, I want to ring up for booty calls, etc. I want passion and spontaneity. Does that happen with Mr Married? This is my whole point, attached and married guys are not as much fun because they don't have the time and they are only interested in sex which is fine if that is all you want. But that gets a bit boring after awhile for most women. You know?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Okay, those of you that know me, will know that I am being a little hypocritical in some of my comments. However, I asked this question at a time when there were a number of married men complaining on the forum that women didn't want to meet with them or become their lovers. I was puzzled why, and I am still puzzled why some attached guys simply can't understand why single women are not keen on them. So, I wanted to highlight that it's not a personal thing, it is about expectations, needs and wants.
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RHP User
11 years ago
How about simple.... preferences. As in..... I prefer.... someone else...lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
I know where you're coming from...I too love my wife who has lost her libido.It's not easy for anyone concerned, without reading your profile I don't know if you've discussed the raft of issues that go along with this predicament.As I write this I'm now on the threshold of getting together with a divorcee who wants a friend with benefits and not necessarily a "close" relationship. It's taken a few years to find her along with a few "near misses" in the meantime, I've become good friends with a woman whose hubby has erectile dysfunction, someone like that could be good for you too. We can discuss things together that we might be able to discuss with many other people. She has a girl friend she can confide in and I have RHP...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Wrote an interesting article in the Weekend Australian..she is very pro men in regards to married men and their wives not wanting to have sex with them..worth s read xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
How long ago was that?We've had trouble getting the Weekend Australian since they stopped delivery
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RHP User
11 years ago
It was in last weekends edition.If you google her you will find similar articles by her xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks for the heads up, we did get the paper last weekend but I hadn't got past the magazine and the review.I thought it was an excellent and thorough article no surprises there but some good advice for someone in my situation.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Feelings are always there... or it is not worth it... it is more about keeping those feelings in a separate box to the rest of your life... a parallel universe you may say.Sex without a connection is just sex... sex with one who you care for and treasure is spectacular. I am 100% up fromt in any relationship... I do not wish to change my existing life... merely add and amplify it. My wife simply is not interested in what I enjoy... from a sexual point of view... everything else we share... so I have a 90% marriage ... better than most.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Good question Meeka. I guess there are lots of reasons. I am primary carer for my partner. I do all the cooking housework etc and sadly she can't enjoy intimacy. I have not made this known and didn't really want to talk about it. I have supportive friends but none that are appropriate to talk deeply about sensual issues or enter the realm of intimacy. I have two days a week when she is in physio programs and I find myself wandering or sitting in a coffee shop. As a guy, we don't get many responses and I thought this site might find me an understanding lady to spend some time with. No commitment, maybe conversation only. It feels wrong to me too. That's it. That's all I can add. Cheers.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Let me start by saying I truly love my wife to bits been with her for 10 years and are happy very happy we have just talked about our see life more now I asked her what she wanted and we both said variety nothing more. let me just add we have an amazing see life I think personally it's just variety nothing more - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
well what are women looking for ? may answer you question ? and the end of the day all roads lead to rome
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am sure there are many answers to what both males, females and TVS profiles are looking for, each one has an individual story. Equally the female profiles that are actually guys, the couples that are 50% short. Love em or hate them they all have a reason for being here. As for why a woman would go for an attached guy... why the hell not, you don't have to keep them, wash up after them, even talk to them very often. You can have someone have all the energy and excitement they had for you whilst dating, all the time. Personally I prefer an attached woman, it makes more sense when both parties understand we have a different relationship to that of being married. Intense, connected and loving doesn't mean monogamous nor does it require a certificate
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RHP User
11 years ago
....... my favorite barista tells me, ' that life is too short to drink bad coffee' > ........ epiphany ...... some baristas continue to make bad macchiato, ..... no matter how many times that you tell them that its bitter and cold .... yet you are inextricably connected ...... sometimes the espresso bar is more about the sense of belonging ..... then the char they serve
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RHP User
11 years ago
...... service trades .... to fix you water .... and energize you ..... pity im blocked .... again ...lol x
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RHP User
11 years ago
... spoke too soon .... as it looks as if you had already lifted my embargo .... thx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Only on RHP to read the forums basically.I don't use RHP to contact people. Very few places where people discuss thier sexuality in all forms.I am married and created a profile on AM recently as both parties are a least honest as to why they are there.Still no luck, Ballarat a small town and seems to be few ladies and a lot of competiton( or I need to learn how to lie better and touch upon the photoshop skills)Willl some people judge me,probably, but the only two people who ever know the full story of a relationship, are the two involved
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RHP User
11 years ago
I am one of those men where my wife has told me to seek sex elsewhere as she suffers Depression and finds it very difficult and almost impossible to get aroused. We have tried so many things including swinging and she had some good times but it is just not her at the moment. It is not like I go and tell her how good the root was last night etc but I now don't put any pressure on her to do anything sexual for me. I love her and I love having special loving moments with her but I know SEX is not there at this point. It has been a hard time learning where the line is and that is why as a married man I keep it totally sexual with others and by all means we stay in touch in some form but it works better if the other person is married for if it is a married couple. There is actually one couple from some time ago that we are both just friends with now so there are some legit guys out there. Great question originally though
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RHP User
10 years ago
Mines a little different, iv known a guy for 11 years and he is now engaged, we talk every day and see each other most weeks. There were times we didn't speak and have tried to end things several times! I think as long as each party is honest and makes their own decisions then so be it. It's never easy though! And I know it will end one day. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Sexist way of putting your forum question up, but happy its here, Im not having an affair to hurt my husband, just have sexual desires that I need to fill, its selfish rather than anything us and I will never justify it to anyone, not even myself, what I do is very wrong but it does become hard to stop. Do feelings form, never! The second one of us in the agreed on relationship starts to notice anything, its over!
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RHP User
10 years ago
In the good old days when people were a tad more "honourable", married men who needed to have a FWB outside marriage would take care of that lady as a mistress and do not just look for her when he needs a bonk. Mistresses are exclusive lovers, get settled in an apartment rented/paid for by their lover, and there is emotional intimacy as well. These days, married men want to bonk whenever they wanna and who cares about the lover's feelings. "Free hooker" is a very apt description. Eventually, a single lady who has long-term affairs with a married man will end up feeling used to a certain degree. She was a willing participant in sexual activities with the lover but when it comes to the crunch, the wife is always placed before her. So... tell me again... where's the "benefits" in the FWB scenarios with married men? That's why I will never date married or attached men. It's a win-lose situation for me. With single men, there's a 50-50 chance that should both parties develop feelings for each other, a relationship could blossom from it with no wife being hurt. I may be horny and lustful all the time, but my brain doesn't stop working and if something seems illogical and puts me on the losing end, no deal!
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