F112
Never trust a man who says...
August 22 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love going down - they're always the ones who never do!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am a Prince of Nigeria..I am a knight in shining ArmourI will promise you the worldI will look after your Tea cosyI can fart while I take a pissI have the same first and last nameI think your cat loves me...I'll call you....Are you hornyWANNA ROOT?I drive a white VanI wear a man-kiniI'll look after Aunty Edna ;)I like Boy GeorgeI love you (after 2mins of meeting)We can't go back to my house.Least but not last....one who says...I DON'T TRUST MYSELF!FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't like FISH!FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm really huge, most girls cant take it all!!! Sure thing Pinocchio!!!
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On_Safari
12 years ago
This is a first for me. (ahuh and you expect me to believe that?)
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RHP User
12 years ago
* You won't be disappointed! * I can go all night! * I can't give you my mobile number because is for work only * I can't host because I house share (with wife and kids?) * I can only meet during the day because I work night shift and weekends (7 days/wk???) * I usually last longer * Oh I forgot to bring the condoms but you don't have to worry, I'm safe. * I give great oral but can you start me off first. Just a few that come to mind. SF
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Coops27M
12 years ago
Very droll, i may have said trust me before. Also cant host cos i have housemates (thats only for men really atm as i'm discreet about my bicurious nature) but women are fine. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
in before "how do you know a woman is lying" jokes
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RHP User
12 years ago
Cum in your mouth
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RHP User
12 years ago
...Trust me ...I don`t normally do this
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RHP User
12 years ago
Good to have a laugh this hr of the day, thanks ladies
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RHP User
12 years ago
Oh do trust me ladies. Why????Because I promise nothing, expect nothing. I ask only and leave it to you to assess who I am. I entice with compliments and expressed desire. Could you please kiss me you may find me very yummy.Such cynicism ladies. Shame with your lovely age forged wisdom you still lament being a fool. Who does spank you for making the same mistake again and again. What keeps you at the table when the food seams so stale. Do you keep trying in the hope that a new cook will deliver something to water the mouth. Should you not be careful to not spoil your appetite for if that delight does come along you will only be able to take a nibble. I know its hard to be hungry, but hunger lets you gorge your self when a rare treat is presented for your delight. Trust me. I am just human. I am a fool, I carry a foot in my mouth, and I find you all so yummy.@Sensory_FunOh poor Sensory_Fun. A big big hug for you poor lass. Didums...@MesmerizedThe flames do suit you Mesmerized. Guessing you like your veal well done or is it just a quick searing and all juicy and raw inside.@Awesome71I hope you do remember to shower.
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RHP User
12 years ago
* I'll only be a few minutes .... * I love oral * I'll be on time * I'm single " * I really am only {insert age} Mooka
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RHP User
12 years ago
Who says 'Hi, I'm Funlover'.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Sensory_fun' * You won't be disappointed! * I can go all night! * I can't give you my mobile number because is for work only * I can't host because I house share (with wife and kids?) * I can only meet during the day because I work night shift and weekends (7 days/wk???) * I usually last longer * Oh I forgot to bring the condoms but you don't have to worry, I'm safe. * I give great oral but can you start me off first. Just a few that come to mind. SF Not sure there is more I can add.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I only gamble socially ... I'm a social smoker ... I've only had ( ) drinks, I'm ok to drive ... I'm a Dom and I know what I'm doing ...You wanna buy a mobile phone???
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RHP User
12 years ago
.......
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RHP User
12 years ago
Who play's by the rules...There not trying...xknots
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RHP User
12 years ago
who tells you how honest they are.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...the X Files.The one that is there most of the time...."the truth is out there"Especially the other one that popped up occasionally..."Trust no one"
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RHP User
12 years ago
who when left alone with a Tea Cosy...doesn't try it on (Billy Connolly) Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain. (J. K. Rowling)
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RHP User
12 years ago
guy that says, I promise not to cum in your mouth. I just got called into work. Ten minutes after he came ,yet you never heard the phone. Woman that says, no nothing is wrong. Woman that says, no this is not new, I had it in my wardrobe for ages, just never wore it. woman that says, these jimmy choo shoes are cheap. woman that says. no you don't have to remember my birthday and I don't want anything. woman that says, sure you can fuck all my girlfriends, before you even bother to fuck me. man that says. no those E plates on my car are not cause I drink to much. Man that says, financially secure then makes you pay for your own coffee man that says gosh I forgot condoms, can we go bare back? its the first time for me to do this.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm only into MFF for your enjoyment, its not for me at all....:) Msfun
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm only into MFF for your enjoyment, its not for me at all....:) Msfun
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Coops27M
12 years ago
I was looking at getting some E plates a few times. Always wondered how that would look :). Oh and the womans "no, nothing is wrong". I am young and as a man, terrible at reading between the lines :(. I do know when something is wrong though just not always what it is. I wish they could just tell me straight :). @everyone Great contributions! I can't think of any to add myself but i am enjoying yours! I found funlover's particularly helpful! I wont be forgetting that one ;)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am not going to add to this because it works both ways as women can tell some big whoppers. However why is it the men are coping all the flack.
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RHP User
12 years ago
"I'm not one to gossip.... but..." DG
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am looking for my sole mate? It's "soul" brother! I know you don't have one of your own but you could at least learn to spell it?- Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
12 years ago
He'll buy you an island....or a small principality....or just give you a jolly good spanking! Lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
Wear condoms...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SUPERFOXXY' I am a Prince of Nigeria..I am a knight in shining ArmourI will promise you the worldI will look after your Tea cosyI can fart while I take a pissI have the same first and last nameI think your cat loves me...I'll call you....Are you hornyWANNA ROOT?I drive a white VanI wear a man-kiniI'll look after Aunty Edna ;)I like Boy GeorgeI love you (after 2mins of meeting)We can't go back to my house.Least but not last....one who says...I DON'T TRUST MYSELF!FOXYAm very sad now and may have to sit in the corner for the evening Throws his new Mankini against the wall and has a tanti what will I wear on Saturday night now
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Coops27M
12 years ago
J.k.rowling, good author, my favourite being Raymond.E.Feist , followed by david eddings and terry pratchett ( the master of dry intellectual humour ) , read the robert jordan saga (all 13000 ish pages) tends to drag on a bit @everyone Sorry for straying off topic :)- Posted from rhpmobile
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Cheekyarses
12 years ago
freya you nailed it....
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am up for anything. I will try anything once Anything you can do, I can do better. ⊂(◉‿◉)つ
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RHP User
12 years ago
Pmsl appears to be very little left to trust or believe lol
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madotara69
12 years ago
when the woman says "it did not mean anything, get over it"Mado
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RHP User
12 years ago
Piss and fart at the same time... How many blokes are going to try that now The 4 biggest lies known to mankind 1. I love you, 2. I'll call you tomorrow. 3. It's not you it's me 4. The truck has left the yard with your delivery
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RHP User
12 years ago
1. "NOTHING" - when asked if everything is okay 2. "Is this outfit okay" - because you know she has already decided to change and wants to blame you for the delay 3. "I'm late" - because whatever the situation you will be screwed ... lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
sure
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RHP User
12 years ago
Any guy who says he's just here for the forums... Hp xo 💌 I'm just here for the forums... 😄😄😄😄
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'chevtrek' I am not going to add to this because it works both ways as women can tell some big whoppers. However why is it the men are coping all the flack. because Chev, women never lie... *jokes* There's a few good examples from the men's side... Cheers Guys!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Trust a man that says anything ;p Their mouths are only good for a couple of things ...... And talking aint one of them hahaha- Posted from rhpmobile
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blueballs212
12 years ago
...from anyone.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Never trust a man wo says: Yes I cheated, but it was only sex and it didn't mean anything. The dog farted, not me. It's not my fault I hit you, you just make me so angry sometimes. We don't need to ask for directions, I know exactly where we are. I'd love for your mother to stay for a few weeks. It won't happen again.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'll call you :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' @Sensory_Fun Oh poor Sensory_Fun. A big big hug for you poor lass. Didums... Did I say any of my examples were personal experiences? I'll take the hugs because I love them... but didums....nah. I usually have the last laugh Hugs SFxx
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RHP User
12 years ago
We wld say never trust a Rhp profile lol makes females n couples
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RHP User
12 years ago
Women are never sexist. Just us men.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm your best friend
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RHP User
12 years ago
A man who emails you just to say your new profile pic is his favourite. (And then sends " Ohh no ? forgot you guys have me on the ' don't acknowledge ' blacklist.." when you don't reply quickly enough. On the same day).
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Sensory_fun' Quoting 'Blindman67' @Sensory_Fun Oh poor Sensory_Fun. A big big hug for you poor lass. Didums... Did I say any of my examples were personal experiences? I'll take the hugs because I love them... but didums....nah. I usually have the last laugh Hugs SFxx Well today has been a slap in the face for me so a hug is nice to give.Never trust a blindman to lead the way.Never trust a skinny cook.Never trust a chicken to show you how to fly.Never trust a crocodile that cries.Never trust love to not hurt.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'd like to meet but I'm straight. Yes, straight, not bi, I'm not into guys, I'm straight not gay, ewww, not a homo, not into sucking cuck. Well maybe, but I'm not kissing a bloke! And did I mention I'm completely straight? We like to test them a little in our emails. And guess what? "Well, I would if it turns Ms Shout on that much..." x Tryst and Shout
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'll call you.
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RHP User
12 years ago
If listing these things come's that easy, makes me wonder how many times this might have happened and why .? Not only would i not trust anyone who say's trust me ' but add to that the lady who has a bag full of incidents at the ready is a real worry... ?
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RHP User
12 years ago
... "I just ran out of petrol". ... "I do!" Hehe
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RHP User
12 years ago
Answers his phone. His face drops. He whispers, looks worried. Then he hangs up abrubtly. You ask "Who was that?" He says: "No one". Bonus points for "Wrong number" and "Telemarketer". Best one I've heard: "That was my mum".
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RHP User
12 years ago
l0l
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madotara69
12 years ago
who says, I don't know how that golf ball got under the seat cover of my motor bike
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RHP User
12 years ago
"We don't need to ask for directions, I know exactly where we are." We are born with GPS's in our brain. If we get lost it is due to a connection error.
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RHP User
12 years ago
never trust period.. lol problem solved. my favtrust me, where have you been hiding all my life,
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RHP User
12 years ago
that there is an uncanny resemblance between Sheldon and C3PO?Oops, sorry wrong thread.Never trust anyone who says they're into Star Wars and BBT and doesn't see that correlation ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
who calls you Ruth
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RHP User
12 years ago
... who kept calling me Shane... His best friend was called Shane... It turned out his lover was called Shayne too, well there was that... and he was bi.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' never trust a man who calls you RuthWhassat Babe?
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' who calls you Ruth Poor bloke might have a lisp
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RHP User
12 years ago
If you tell me you want too explore and test your boundaries
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RHP User
12 years ago
never trust a man who tells you "Oh baby you give the best ever head"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Promise ill pull out... Lol takes a stronger man than me to do so, thank lord for ansell! ;)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' who calls you Ruth This is very, 'personal story' story, funny. Would love to share that story with you Freya. You would LOL. Girl crush on you, btw.Never trust a woman, who says her name is Ruth, or a man for that matter. Or a man who says, his ex was a total crazy bitch, and the split was all her fault.Or…….on and on and on……
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Oh do trust me ladies. Why????Because I promise nothing, expect nothing. I ask only and leave it to you to assess who I am. I entice with compliments and expressed desire. Could you please kiss me you may find me very yummy.Such cynicism ladies. Shame with your lovely age forged wisdom you still lament being a fool. Who does spank you for making the same mistake again and again. What keeps you at the table when the food seams so stale. Do you keep trying in the hope that a new cook will deliver something to water the mouth. Should you not be careful to not spoil your appetite for if that delight does come along you will only be able to take a nibble. I know its hard to be hungry, but hunger lets you gorge your self when a rare treat is presented for your delight. Trust me. I am just human. I am a fool, I carry a foot in my mouth, and I find you all so yummy.@Sensory_FunOh poor Sensory_Fun. A big big hug for you poor lass. Didums...@MesmerizedThe flames do suit you Mesmerized. Guessing you like your veal well done or is it just a quick searing and all juicy and raw inside.@Awesome71I hope you do remember to shower. I don't think you lie much. Just saying….Your posting was entertaining and intriguing,btw. There is no precedent for not trusting a woman who says that! A man who asks, "Would I lie to you".
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Coops27M' Very droll, i may have said trust me before. Also cant host cos i have housemates (thats only for men really atm as i'm discreet about my bicurious nature) but women are fine. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Lady_Tuscan' guy that says, I promise not to cum in your mouth. I just got called into work. Ten minutes after he came ,yet you never heard the phone. Woman that says, no nothing is wrong. Woman that says, no this is not new, I had it in my wardrobe for ages, just never wore it. woman that says, these jimmy choo shoes are cheap. woman that says. no you don't have to remember my birthday and I don't want anything. woman that says, sure you can fuck all my girlfriends, before you even bother to fuck me. man that says. no those E plates on my car are not cause I drink to much. Man that says, financially secure then makes you pay for your own coffee man that says gosh I forgot condoms, can we go bare back? its the first time for me to do this. The man who says, "Oh, I really love art.", but doesn't know his Monet, from his Manet.
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RHP User
12 years ago
who says,''Hi I am a hug therapist'' or''I just want to give you a massage''
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RHP User
12 years ago
who only EVEVAH calls you Babe or Baby
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'deepbluesumthing' I am looking for my sole mate? It's "soul" brother! I know you don't have one of your own but you could at least learn to spell it?Maybe a sole mate is a fellow sneaker freaker?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Never trust a man who says "anything"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SUPERFOXXY' ... I can fart while I take a piss ...FOXYI just tried this and I CAN fart when I take a piss...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm not having sex with anyone else.....I'm just a fully paid up member on rhp so I can chat 😉- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Whose relationship status is "Ask Me"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Lisalee69' I'm not having sex with anyone else.....I'm just a fully paid up member on rhp so I can chat 😉- Posted from rhpmobile Never trust Lisalee who puts ample as her body type yet shows a sexy hot firm perfect ass leading to toned legs as her profile pic. Oh need to cool down.Whats up with women these days.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I am only here for the forums :P
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RHP User
12 years ago
I wont show anyone...This is just between usI dont usually do things like thisIf you do it this once I wont tell anyone I forgot condoms and your regulars will cut off circulation...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Im happy to provide you references I love it and get very dejected when told Im not really into that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Awesome71' I love going down - they're always the ones who never do!! Ahaha so true! :)DG said it best, "Keyboard hero, Real Life Zero"Still my fav saying from RHP
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RHP User
12 years ago
I give excellent oral! Ummm let your tongue do the talking and the lady do the judging!- Posted from rhpmobile
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madotara69
12 years ago
would you like some toast with this cup of tea. He probably has sex on his mindMado
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RHP User
12 years ago
Come over, I'll cook you dinner, we don't have to have sex... Haha Mado... That's so true!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ehh... sure! When asked the question: Are you even listening?!?!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
a very wise man who said,''Always be friendly but never trust''.....it sounds so cynical but I think he meant ,if we totally trust anyone including ourselves, it leaves no room for change....sometimes we expect too much from ourselves and others and can only lead to disappointment.
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RHP User
12 years ago
A manwho says he is the best pussy licker everwho says he can't fit regular condomswho says he is into anything - bring it on babe!A womansaying you are the best she has ever hadsaying yes, she did come - she is just not demonstrativesaying everything is FINE, really.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'chunki' I give excellent oral! Ummm let your tongue do the talking and the lady do the judging!- Posted from rhpmobile *raises hand* Ohh oh oh pick me, pick me, miss Chunki. I have done all my home work. Oh oh oh please, please let me show you what I learnt, miss.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm looking for a nice guy I don't care about looks or size- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'iceddog' Im happy to provide you references I love it and get very dejected when told Im not really into that. ???
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Playful2looking
12 years ago
Never Trust an honest person one day they can be dishonest; where as a dishonest person you can trust to be dishonest and one day they may be honest......
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RHP User
12 years ago
who wins a a Lelo pleasure set and ask for someone to show him how to use it. who says he's into chemistry but has never been to uni. who has your dog loving him immediately.....I always take dog treats on a date ;)
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RHP User
12 years ago
it's all in ya head!!!FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Funlover71' who wins a a Lelo pleasure set and ask for someone to show him how to use it. Errrrrrrrrrrr wasn't it lipstick?foxy
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RHP User
12 years ago
i like reading your post they are witty and well thought out. i think dont trust a man who says im not married i now look for the tan line where his wedding ring usually sits!!! x fiona
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RHP User
12 years ago
also tho other classic " you are mad" " you are wrong" " its you not me " " you are a failure "
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi I'm Tim Shaw from Demtel!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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