M43

The definitive guide for average guys on RHP...

April 22 2013

... to meet with an average level of success at meeting (not necessarily having sex with) *specifically* women - as a) the author is not gay/bi, and b) come on, gay dudes don't need help with this.So anyway, a little about the author: I am a mid-30s, professional sort of guy, gets some exercise, yet does not rock a ripped 6-pack, average looks - not hideous, not amazing. (the reason I write this bit is to establish that you don't *need* to be super hot to attract women - here OR irl...)The following guide is very much a 'do as I say, not as I do' sort of deal. I have not followed or done all of the things I mention, but they are based on observations. Observations that I am certain will help a lot of guys with their approach to the site, and the women they are trying to meet... Without further ado:Step 1: GET A GOOD PHOTO.This is first for a very good reason - the first bite is with the eye, like it or not. I myself have terrible photos. I do not have any decent ones. If there is one thing I should have done, it was get someone I know who is inexplicably good at pushing the 'take photo' button and arming myself with some flattering photography. Take the time/effort to get a decent set (say 3-4) photos of yourself.Your photos should be: A picture of your face. Preferably with a nice smile. Bitches love smiles.A picture of your 'body' - that is, it doesn't necessarily have to be of a shredded torso. If you've got this, then by all means, show it off, but trust me on this, just a full-body shot of you in some NICE clothes, looking presentable, where we can get a reasonable idea of your physique is more than good enough. Women actually like how men look in clothes - judging from how much women like 'men in uniform' alone.Tatts: If you have some decent tatts, its probably a good idea to have a nice photo or two of them. Lots of women will go for guys expressly because they have tattoos. Why? I have no fucking clue, its just a drawing on skin, and bears little to no relation to the personality of the person wearing the drawing, but there you go - if you're inked, and its decent (i.e. save your southern cross tatts), show it off.Save your cock-shots for the PG. There are, at last count, 53,672,933 photos of guys dicks on this site. Is yours really that spectacular? From all reports I've heard, women are less impressed by cock shots than about 93% of men on this site believe.YOUR PHOTOS SHOULD BE RECENT. And by 'recent', I mean "Taken within the last few years".2. WRITE A DECENT PROFILEYou do not need to be Ernest Hemingway. Just a couple of sentences, maybe a full paragraph in reasonably well-written English about you, your interests, what you like/are looking for, that 'sells' you a little bit is enough. I realise that there are many people with less than stellar written language skills - many of the women's profiles I look at appear to be written by a chimp who has been taught text-English. Such is the parlous state of our educational system. The internet has many easily accessible tools to help you with your spelling/grammar. Having some nice spelling is not going to be the dealbreaker, but it certainly helps.Protip: It's a good idea to add (and actually think): "I am looking to have some fun, but am open to more with the right person", or words to that exact effect. This establishes what you're looking for, but also provides a vague addition that you are emotionally mature enough to consider more than just your cock. You never know, it might just turn out to be true.3. WRITE MORE THAN A SENTENCE WHEN YOU MESSAGE WOMEN. You're spending money on the site to gain the amazing ability to converse with more than some utterly inadequate, and laughably bad stock phrases. USE THIS ABILITY.Messaging someone with something like "HAY LOL WANA FUK" is likely not going to get the job done. Again, your message doesn't have to be Shakespeare, but it should introduce yourself, engage with the specific person you're messaging - i.e. Actually mentions something about them, their name, or something/s they mentioned in their Profile. DO NOT USE TEMPLATES PEOPLE CAN TELL WHEN YOU USE TEMPLATES AND PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE TEMPLATES AS TEMPLATES ARE FOR ROBOTS.4. BE POLITE WHEN FACED WITH REJECTION/IGNORING.The ratio of men/women on the site would be staggeringly huge. I don't know what it is, but I am absolutely certain that this ratio would put the worlds largest gangbang to shame. By and large (and yes, I am aware that this statement ins't 100% true), the woman you are messaging is being messaged/flirted with by literally hundreds of other guys. To answer all of this is a literal full-time job. You stand a better chance of getting a reply when you write a nice message, but even then, the girls are snowed under. Empathise with this, because it's a lot to deal with, especially as - apparently - a lot of the messages are far, far less than savoury. It sucks not getting a reply, and has certainly frustrated me in the past, but heres a big protip for you:Suck it up, princess. Deal with it. Be an adult, and move on.If you message someone and they are kind enough to take the trouble to say (or even copy/paste): "Thanks for the message, but I am not interested, best of luck", or the like, be a man, a grown-up man and message them back to thank them for the reply, and move on. Help foster the behaviour of replying to messages. DO NOT REPLY WITH SOME SNARKY, PETULANT, PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE REPLY - DOING THIS MAKES YOU A DOUCHEBAG. DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG.5. HAVE SOME PERSPECTIVE, OR GROUNDING IN REALITY WHEN CHOOSING WOMEN TO MESSAGEOk, I'm sure there are some tales of 60+ year-old guys getting in tough with some 18-20 year-old hotties and getting to live out their disturbing, sort of paedophillic fantasies with them - or maybe not so disturbing, attractive, taut, young-adult bodies are attractive... But if you are, say, 30 years older than the woman you are messaging, or more - you need to step away from the computer. Have some perspective, and some fucking respect for yourself. If you're having to wonder if it's appropriate for you to message, then here's yet another handy protip: IT ISN'T APPROPRIATE. CLOSE THE WINDOW, AND GO LOOK AT MORE AGE-APPROPRIATE WOMEN. You are not Jack Donaghy (TV show reference for those that don't know - google it), if you were, you wouldn't be on this site, you would be busy being an impossibly successful, wealthy, and handsome older gentleman, and having sex with models/running huge corporations. The girls are not interested - even when they say they are looking for older guys, there is in 98% of cases, a very clear upper limit.RESPECT THE AGE RANGE WOMEN SET.Outside the age issue - relative looks. This can be a tough one, because there are lots of guys who 'punch above their weight' here and irl, so I'm gonna leave this one up to you - If you're feeling it, hen have a crack at it, slugger and best of luck. Just don't be mad if/when you get ignored or declined.6. DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE A LITTLE PERSISTENT.This is one you want to be careful with. Persistence IS a good thing, in moderation. Lots of moderation. Due to the aforementioned phenomena of women receiving a lot of messages, it's entirely possible your messages has just 'slipped through the cracks'... Don't be afraid to, after a reasonable interval, try again with another message. Be polite, don't try to pretend you didn't already send one, but just put it out there again - maybe she meant to message and just lost track of it. For me, I actually was fortunately enough to meet up with a couple women after a follow-up messages that was - geniuinely - asking for advice with my messages, how I could improve what I was writing. Maybe that will 'work' (for lack of a better word) for you, I don't know.Just be sure you're careful, and not stalky with this. A very *little* persistence can be good.7. HAVE SOME GODDAMNED SELF-RESPECTTry not to prostrate yourself upon the Altar of Vagina. Be complimentary, of course, but don't be a toady or a lickspittle. Nothing is more sexy than confidence. Let me repeat that:NOTHING IS MORE SEXY THAN CONFIDENCESome people, men and women, mistake confidence with arrogance - that is, they mistake an arrogant attitude with being confident. Usually these people think that 'Alpha Male' is a term that has any relevance to Homo Sapiens. It does not. Arrogance is a security blanket weak people hide behind to cover up their own perceived shortcomings.Confidence is many things, but is essentially knowing who you are, and what you want. Do not be afraid to say and be those things. If you think that you need to suck up to or ingratiate yourself to a person in order to gain their favour, then you a) need to get a new job, you will never make it where you are, and b) need to get new friends/love interests, they will never treat you well or with respect, and if you are trying that as a tactic here, then I fear for your chances.If you do get a positive response from a woman, do not feel you must slather her with piles of compliments. I mean, if you truly do think the things you're saying, go for it, but don't do it because you think it will make her more likely to put your penis in close proximity to her vagina. It won't - it's off-putting and sort of gross. Be yourself, not what you think others think you should be.Lastly:8. DO NOT HAVE EXPECTATIONSYou have written a message. Your intended has read it, looked at your profile and found the whole deal to her liking. SHe responds. There is some back-and-forth (not too much, try to cut to the chase a *little* bit, save the questions and the stories for when you meet, it's a lot better that way), and you arrange to meet up.THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX. IT MEANS YOU ARE GOING TO MEET SOMEONE FOR COFFEE/DRINK/DINNER/SKYDIVING/WHATEVER. REMEMBER THAT.Here's a thing you may not know - women are actually fun to be around, even when nudity isn't an option. They often have different perspectives and experiences to men, and are also often very different to your mates. Enjoy this. You are meeting up to enjoy the novel, and delightful experience of meeting a new person, an experience which is *spiced* with the possibility of having sex with this person.That's all it is: a possibility. Do not take it as anything more than that, and you will enjoy yourself a whole lot more, as you will be a lot more relaxed, and more 'yourself', and ironically enough, likely stand a much better chance of getting that sex you want so, so badly. If you meet, and there isn't enough of a spark (on her end) for it to work out, then again, suck it up, go home and jerk off. A date does not equal sex.A side note: If any guy reading this has ever spiked a woman's drink and drugged them into an insensible state in order to have sex with them, you are a total fucking lowlife rapist - a RAPIST, make no mistake - and you should be chemically castrated, you fucking lowlife piece of shit. The sooner you are out of the genepool, the better.---So, that's my guide for having *some* success with meeting women through this site. My subscription is about to expire, and I don't think I'll renew (for now, maybe in a little while), but if I do head back, I'll definitely be taking some of my own advice, particularly the photos. I can't tell you how important they are! (and I'm not saying 'Women are shallow bitches' or anything remotely like that - I'm saying my photos suck, and I should have taken the effort)Thanks for reading, and I hope that this improves the experience of RPH for the guys that read it - and by dint of this, the women who they would like to meet.CheersSam

Comments

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RHP User

13 years ago

Well I'm thinking that seeing the Doyan of dating has done such an excellent job at this post. Perhaps he'd like to try doing the ladies as well??? We could then seek his guidance as Dexter from "perfect match" to calculate our compatibilities?- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

13 years ago

It would be an interesting read, that's for sure!!......Foxy

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RHP User

13 years ago

I am a horny girl who can't get enough cock..... that should do it,surely any more words would just be too much of a challenge.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'sirlurkalot' Well ladies....it looks like the Doyan of dating has spoken :) My bad.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'sirlurkalot' Well I'm thinking that seeing the Doyan of dating has done such an excellent job at this post. Perhaps he'd like to try doing the ladies as well??? We could then seek his guidance as Dexter from "perfect match" to calculate our compatibilities?- Posted from rhpmobile Nick Wilde writes it!!!

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RHP User

13 years ago

I was actually thinking of writing something along those lines.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Too late Innerwest I have started something already. Should be up shortly but having a guide for women written by a man should be interesting. LMAO. Seems strange the first post you ever wrote was on not getting any responses from women and now you are the expert in such a short time. Doctor Love! Bwahaha. ;-)

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RHP User

13 years ago

You may call him "The Ladies Man" ooooo another movie reference :p- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'Meeka100' Too late Innerwest I have started something already. Should be up shortly but having a guide for women written by a man should be interesting. LMAO. Seems strange the first post you ever wrote was on not getting any responses from women and now you are the expert in such a short time. Doctor Love! Bwahaha. ;-) ---ah im still gonna do it. and im a very fast learner haha

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RHP User

13 years ago

Humble too.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'Meeka100' Humble too. ---yeah, im fucking amazing.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'sirlurkalot' Well I'm thinking that seeing the Doyan of dating has done such an excellent job at this post. Perhaps he'd like to try doing the ladies as well??? We could then seek his guidance as Dexter from "perfect match" to calculate our compatibilities?- Posted from rhpmobile ---It's "Doyen", or "Doyenne" if you're talking about/to a woman.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Is there any particular reason why I feel like I'm being ever-so-slightly abused here?If you do in fact have a problem with me, might I suggest just sitting on your own posts?

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RHP User

13 years ago

Just put some sunglasses on so you don't get sand in your eyes. PS sand in your crouch is also pretty awful.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Oh? I thought you were being serious about the woman's guide?

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'paintme' Just put some sunglasses on so you don't get sand in your eyes. PS sand in your crouch is also pretty awful. Apparently yes.Cool, just wanted to make sure. Thanks for clearing that up!---Oh, I wasn't joking about doing the post for women, I'm doing that now.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Am looking forward to both your forums!

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RHP User

13 years ago

under profile pics...please MAKE YOUR BED...unless of course you are aiming to be the masculine equivalent of Tracey Emin....

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RHP User

13 years ago

good on ya, for having a go sand pit is like games in ancient Rome but sharp toungues not swords I love how some guys say ohh what the fuck would you know? and women are saying thats a good post I think you can always learn something of everyone, even if you do not agree with them and people need big balls, both men and women to put themselves up on the forums especially men women will get laid anyway no matter how they present themselves men may get a few nibbles through forum posts, I know I often peep at guys that write things that interest me the truth is, you can be a meat head of a guy,but if you walk in and your so fucking hot to look at...all bets are off god looking hotties, get laid by average women. Nice men who are not so hot struggle its just sexual darwinisim

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RHP User

13 years ago

best bits were burned to bits...

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RHP User

13 years ago

her 'Everyone I've ever slept with' work was burned in the Saachti fire ... art gallery peeps ...

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'Anya022013' It was an amusing read with a lot of truth behind it, the persona portrayed within the whole post is something the guys should take note of WOW!! That's brilliant piece of writing!You covered everything & said it perfectly!

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'ShevermiN' Can't agree more with this post, but no matter how much the Ladies protest the guys with cock shots in their profiles still get more dates than the rest. There's no afrodisac like loneliness so says the Whitlams, but there is no afrodisac better than confidence. Now a confident male might end up being an arrogant male, an asshole male, and he may never end up keeping the nice Lady. But he always gets given a chance. Where the poor nice guys ends up babysitting his sisters kids while she goes on yet another date with the wrong guy. And based on no evidence at all my guess is that there is at least 10 guys to every gal at a minimun on these type of sites.. NOOOOOO!! That's not right? How did you arrive at that conclusion?I've never felt compelled to meet anyone with only a cock shot on their profile!? I prefer a nice face pic or a nice body shot any day... dressed or partially dressed is better than balls & all!!??Confidence is enticing but arrogance is anathema to me! There is a vast difference between the two!

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RHP User

13 years ago

Tracey's My Bed was the work I was referring to,that wasn't in the fire.This man's bed was certainly on a par with Tracey's bed...why would you put that in your profile pic?

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RHP User

13 years ago

I can only say thank you to you.From a women point you are a very insightful male.I know the bottom line is getting laid, we all want this, however its so much nicer in the thought the male who is contacting me means what he wrote.Please open a training course for males.Not only the young need this, there are older males out there who don't get it either.And as you said it is such a downright NO from us women when we think this guy is only contacting us because we have a vagina and doesn't want to know nothing about us.Luckily for women on RHP we have a whole big ocean of fish to chose from.I am not one of the popular women who gets 50 or more messages per day, still I get everyday some, and some are really beautiful, and thats the one I respond too. And no it doesnt mean I meet the men after all, because this is just a start. I call it we sniff around each other, but it is a start.So now again, I want to say thank you.

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RHP User

13 years ago

Quoting 'innerwest123'Is there any particular reason why I feel like I'm being ever-so-slightly abused here? If you do in fact have a problem with me, might I suggest just sitting on your own posts? Only someone with a sensitive ego might look at it this way.....just sayin I actually quite enjoyed reading it....

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ChinesenIrish

13 years ago

Loved reading it and found it interesting.... Thanks

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RHP User

13 years ago

Last time I was here we had to call the wambulance for you and I was getting loose on Jack Daniels. Now your mister lover lover! You learned quick. I loved your post. Funny thing, you can always tell when you have done something good when other males show that they are threatened by you! Love your work man.CantBeFUcked (currently getting loose)

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RHP User

13 years ago

love love love it ... if i send you a list could you pass it on to them p.s this BITCH loves smile

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RHP User

13 years ago

Great work, absolutely wonderful post, wish all men on here would read it and adjust their profiles.....guess that would make it even harder though for us ladies to choose as at the moment that is made easy by ignoring the 'in your face' cock shots, bad English, blurry pictures and obvious inability to fill out simple profile Q. I must however also congratulate the men who do put a nice picture up and have taken the time and effort to fill out the mandatory Q and say a little about themselves as I for one are way more likely to take a closer look.

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RHP User

13 years ago

I'm new at RHP and this has been a helpful read/thread. I was reluctant to join but a friend of mine said he's met some great people through RHP - some develop into 'fun times', others just stay friends. I'll get onto some photos and tweaking my profile. Thanks Sam. Sage advice.- Posted from rhpmobile

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RHP User

13 years ago

Well done Sam !!! Good read... Hope all you gents out there take the hint... I see you are a populist for women kind Sam, very refreshing to see....

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RHP User

13 years ago

some good points but as I said in some other topic the gals come to me last I get to hear why are more guys not like you and that realy bugs me. Women can be strange and funny

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RHP User

13 years ago

I have to totally re-do my profile... great read ;-)

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RHP User

12 years ago

good advice .. i will have to use this and see how it goes

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The definitive guide for average guys on RHP...

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